When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic, Time takes on the strain until it breaks; Then all the unattended stress falls in On the mind like an endless, increasing weight,
The light in the mind becomes dim. Things you could take in your stride before Now become laborsome events of will.
Weariness invades your spirit. Gravity begins falling inside you, Dragging down every bone.
The tide you never valued has gone out. And you are marooned on unsure ground. Something within you has closed down; And you cannot push yourself back to life.
You have been forced to enter empty time. The desire that drove you has relinquished. There is nothing else to do now but rest And patiently learn to receive the self You have forsaken for the race of days.
At first your thinking will darken And sadness take over like listless weather. The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.
You have traveled too fast over false ground; Now your soul has come to take you back.
Take refuge in your senses, open up To all the small miracles you rushed through.
Become inclined to watch the way of rain When it falls slow and free.
Imitate the habit of twilight, Taking time to open the well of color That fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone Until its calmness can claim you. Be excessively gentle with yourself.
Stay clear of those vexed in spirit. Learn to linger around someone of ease Who feels they have all the time in the world.
Gradually, you will return to yourself, Having learned a new respect for your heart And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
Have you ever felt completely exhausted?
Was it a phase or a short lived experience?
Did something in particular spark the exhaustion?
Did you wade through it until the feeling passed
or did you take concerted steps to regain your vitality?
When times of malaise come to pass do you sit with it or takes steps to transform the feelings?
Following quote from
acclaimed artist Aaron Paquette
You think you don’t have enough knowledge yet,
or training or time.
You think all these things and so your
mind listens and makes it so.
Isn’t time to believe all things are possible?
Isn’t it time to let go of that great evil, perfectionism,
and let your work be imperfect without fear of judgement?
Isn’t it time to cast worry aside and grab hold
of your purpose, your reason, your destiny?
I will tell you what you already know:
This is the time.
This is your day.
This is the moment you feel a flame in your heart
growing, spreading, filling you with Life!
Nurture it!
Protect it!
Help it grow.
It’s the true expression of your very own
soul longing to breathe free.
Longing to fly.
Are you ready? It may not feel like it, but you are.
Will you fall? Absolutely!
And will you rise?
Absolutely.
Do what you have to do to make it happen right now.
Change everything. Now.
You are fierce and beautiful and strong.
Show it to the world.
Hiy hiy
Returning Home by Aaron Paquette
Artist Aaron Paquette is one of Canadaʼs premiere First Nations artists. He is a painter, writer, keynote speaker and workshop facilitator. He is also a political commentator, illustrator, goldsmith and cathedral stained glass artist. Please visit his web site here.
His recent projects include a major reconciliation mural for Edmonton’s LRT Grandin Station, a series of four paintings depicting the challenges faced by Canada’s indigenous people entitled, “Four Directions”, and he is curating a traveling exhibit for the Art Gallery of Alberta.
Image from mural at Gradin Station
Lastly Aaron just released a debut young adult novel entitled Lightfinder, through Kegedonce Press. Here is a synopsis of the book:
Lightfinder book cover
Aisling is a young Cree woman who sets out into the wilderness with her Kokum (grandmother), Aunty and two young men she barely knows. They have to find and rescue her runaway younger brother, Eric. Along the way she learns that the legends of her people might be real and that she has a growing power of her own.
The story follows the paths of Aisling and Eric, siblings unwittingly thrust into a millennia old struggle for the future of life on earth. It deals with growing up, love and loss, and the choices life puts in our path. Love and confusion are in store, as are loss and pain. Things are not always what they seem and danger surrounds them at every turn.
Will Raven”s mysterious purposes prevail? With darkness closing in how will they find the light to guide them? Will Aisling find Eric in time?
Here is a beautiful three part series of videos with Aaron Paquette by Bravo! The first video provides some background on Aaron and the second and third videos delve deeper into his art and spirituality. I was very moved and inspired by what he shared and think you will be too. It is well worth the time to watch all three.
From the Spirit Part 1
From the Spirit Part 2
From the Spirit Part 3
Abundance by Aaron PaquetteLay Down Your Burdens by Aaron Paquette
Aaron Paquette’s story was inspirational to me because it is an example of a person living his vision and acting upon his passion. I will share another example from an article by Dr. Margaret Paul called “Are You Playing Too Small?”
“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” ~Nelson Mandela
“Do you feel passionate about your life? If not, you are likely playing too small – opting for safety rather than for the aliveness that comes from fully manifesting your gifts and talents.
We have all been given unique gifts and talents. Some indigenous people know this and choose not to name their children until their unique talents emerge. For example, they might name their child “Basketweaver” or “Listener” or “Healer” when these talents emerge. They fully believe in encouraging the child’s natural gifts and talents.
For some strange reason, many of my clients believe that if something comes easily to them – if it is a natural talent – then it’s not what they should pursue. They believe that for something to be worthwhile, it has to be hard. Yet this is exactly the opposite of the truth! That which comes easy to you is your natural gift or talent, and it is likely what brings you the most joy.
My client, Skip, started working with me due to depression. He was a successful dentist with a lovely wife and three children whom he adored, but still, he was depressed.
As we explored what was going on in his life, he told me that he became a dentist because his father was a dentist and his father wanted him to take over his very lucrative practice. But Skip did not enjoy dentistry like his father did. He never felt passionate about his work. It soon became evident that his depression was related to not doing what he really wanted to do.
Skip knew early in his life that he had two passions: psychology and writing poetry. He had been writing poetry since he was child and had even published a small poetry book, which had received some acclaim and which brought him great joy.
He had always been interested in psychology, and had read extensively in this field. But his father had convinced him that he could not earn enough as a psychologist and a poet to support a family, and that he had to think of others rather than himself.
Now, with a wife and three children, he felt trapped doing something for the rest of his life that brought him no joy. He dragged himself to work each day, and lived for the few hours when he had time to write poetry, as well as to spend time with his family.
When Skip realized that he couldn’t be a good husband and father being so depressed, he decided to make a huge life change. With the support of his wife, he cut his dental practice in half and went back to school to become a psychologist. And he started making more time for writing – both poetry and fiction.
As it turned out, Skip is an amazing writer and storyteller. His first book of fiction was published and did well. He is currently working on his second novel and finishing his PhD is psychology. With the income from his book, he is able to continue to support his family with his half-time dental practice. Because he is doing what brings him joy and manifesting his gifts and talents, he is also enjoying dentistry much more. He plans to continue his half-time dental practice, establish a small psychology practice, and continue writing. Somehow, he has also found more time to be with his family.
Skip is being as big as he really is and is no longer depressed! By following his passions, he has renewed energy and aliveness for his life and finds that he has time to do all that brings him joy.”
A Fearless Heart by Aaron Paquette
Aaron shared about being in connection with spirit and creating his art and how this led him to a more stable, centered and spiritual life. Dr. Margaret Paul then shared about her former client who finally dared to pursue the passions he had suppressed and in turn found freedom from the depression that had plagued him.
Where are you at with pursuing your passions? Do you know what they are or are you still figuring it out?
Sometimes our responsibilities regarding caring for others and jobs that pay our bills make it more difficult to pursue our passions. Do you make the time to do the things you love? If not how could you change that? If you do make the time, do have any words of wisdom for those who struggle to do so?
Do you find that there is a connection between your passions and your spirituality? If yes, how does that influence you?
“As I read about the [Grimke] sisters, I was drawn more and more to Sarah and what she’d overcome. Before stepping onto the public stage, she experienced intense longings for a vocation, crushed hopes, betrayal, unrequited love, loneliness, self-doubt, ostracism, and suffocating silence. It seemed to me she had invented her wings not so much in spite of these things, but because of them.” ~ Sue Monk Kidd
I Want. I have not always been really good about expressing what I want. It is also difficult to express what I want when it effects other people and I start to feel like I am asking something of others. I tend to be a bit independent in taking care of myself. For example this weekend I really wanted our house to be less messy (our almost 8 year old twins had things and toys strewn and lying about in multiple ares of the house.) I also wasn’t feeling so inclined to do all the picking up and cleaning myself. It wasn’t so easy for me to mention to my hubby on Saturday night that it would be nice if the house could get straightened up. It is difficult for me to explain to people who seem content in a less than neat house, how residing in chaos can make me physically start to feel all tense. But my speaking up let my hubby know to be on board with kicking things into gear on Sunday and everyone helped out to make the house more organized and clean again. Ahhhh…soo nice. Especially because my energy is seriously lagging. My get up and go went somewhere else and I hadn’t found her once I got home from grocery shopping and put everything away this morning.
This idea of contemplating I Want was in part inspired by a post I saw weeks ago by artist and writer Kelly Rae Roberts. Back on February 5th she shared a very sweet lists of wants in this post.
I made the above with True in mind, (a new little something for his new room in our new house) but I’m inspired to consider my own dreams as of late………
I want to have a picnic or two. And read a book in the green summer grass.
I want to make a memory book, printing off photos regularly and documenting more of our everyday life.
I want to stay authentic in business, making choices that continued to be tuned into my vision, mission, truth.
I want to trust the journey and the abundance that exists at every turn (it’s the small things).
I want to go to NYC and wander the streets with John.
I want to walk around my new hood, make new friends, put up a new little library.
I want to have more dinner parties.
I want to make more collaborative paintings with True.
I want to make more paintings for kids.
I want to gather on the coast with new friends, old friends, and eat candy.
I want to be still.
Take it all in.
Celebrate.
Be grateful.
I kept this particular post open on my iPhone and I visited it now and again. There was such a sweetness and simplicity to her wishes that resonated with me. I have been asking myself, what do I want? Here are some of my thoughts.
I want to feel more relaxed.
I want to play with my children and hang with the family more.
I want to have less commitments.
I want less pressure and fewer deadlines.
I want to spend more time gardening and hanging out in our yards.
I want to cuddle my 17 year old cat Bandito more.
I want to throw the Frisbee for 11 year old Shanti more too.
I want to paint more.
I want to gently ease back into being in love with my book project.
I want to feel excited about the book and fleshing out a colorful vision for it.
I want more creative time.
I want more quality time with friends, not necessarily more quantity.
I want to say Yes to things that make my heart sing.
I want to say No to things that don’t light me up.
I always want to hear great music.
What about you? What do you want? Did anything that Kelly Rae or I shared inspire you or resonate with you?
P.S. May 1st is Mojo Mondays 4th Birthday. Here is a little something to honor this special day.
May 1st is “The Day of Ironic Insight” according to the book The Secret Language of Birthdays by Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers. While Mojo Monday is not a person it has had a life of its own for the past 4 years. It was a bit entertaining to read about the predicted attributes of those born on May 1st, for that is the birthday of Mojo Monday back in 2010.
Here are some more of the descriptions listed for those born May 1st:
“[They] have a talent for watching what goes on around them and communicating their ideas on what they see to others. Their capacity to express these observations, which most frequently deal with people, is generally either verbal or written, but rarely both.”
“…they also show an active interest in the events of the world around them. Even the shyest take a stand within the family, business or social group of which they are a member. Those born on this day are not everyone’s cup of tea, nor do they particularly seek to please others. They are, however, respected for their honesty and though outspoken on issues of importance to them are nonetheless venusian in their love of harmony and beauty.”
The following is an e-mail from the past, composed 6 years, 11 months and 23 days ago, on April 18, 2007. It is being delivered from the past through FutureMe.org.
(It was delivered via email to me on April 10, 2014, my 45th birthday.)
Dear FutureMe,
Happy Birthday Michelle! You are 45 today – wow!
Did you forget about this message? You wrote it 7 years ago. I am sure that a lot has happened in 7 years. I hope that you find yourself in a good and happy place in your life.
At the time of writing this letter you were still feeling some insecurities about some aspects of your life. There were little worries about your marriage. Some hurts and frustrations that you are planning and hoping to work through. Next week you will be meeting with a therapist for the first time in your life. You are nervous about it and also have great hopes. You are hoping that it helps you work through some of your anger and frustration in regards to the relationship with your husband and also with your mother. Oh how cliche that sounds. The archetypal mother-daughter conflicted relationship.
I have had moments of doubt about my marriage making it for the long haul. Sitting here now though and really contemplating the future I see clearly that I want this marriage to work. That is what I envision in my future. I want to know that 7 years from now when I receive this email that my husband will still be by my side. That we will be raising our children together and growing old together. I want our relationship to be solid, loving and fun. I want us to celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary this June together.
Not only have you aged but so has everyone else. Your husband is going to be 52 years old in May. And your twin daughters – wow they will be 8 years old in May. Just thinking about such a passage of time in connection with your loved ones brings tears to your eyes.
There are also the fur-kids to consider. Hopefully both are still with the family. Our furry friends just don’t live long enough. The cat will be 17 years old and the dog will be 11. I hope they are still with us. Just thinking of them passing is hard to imagine.
There are also my siblings and my parents. What changes have taken place in our family during this time frame. I know from experience how the unexpected can happen. I’ve already lost two brothers and a fiance in my past.
Are you still working at the same job? You had a good job back then with a great organization. I also know that you are capable of more. You have a lot of creative talents and you can write. I am hoping that you have moved in the direction of putting your creative talents to work and are making a living in that area. You have entered into the world of digital design recently. You love to play with images. Finding the right combination of writing and design would be perfect.
Here are some of my wishes for you in the future.
I hope that you have learned to be more relaxed. I hope that you are more accepting of yourself and your imperfections. I hope that you are comfortable with your body. I hope that you are having lots of fun in your life. I hope that you have a great relationship with your husband. I hope that you and your daughters are so very close and love spending time together. I hope that your daughters are happy, healthy and loving life. I hope that your parents are still alive and that you have a healthy and close relationship with them. I hope you are doing things you love professionally. I hope that you have a close circle of friends and that you still spend time with them. I hope you have found effective ways to take good care of you. I hope you have learned to express your needs to others. I hope your hair looks good -tee hee. I hope you are happy – most of the time.
I was surprised when I received the letter above. It was nearly 7 years ago when I wrote it and my memory of doing so really didn’t come back until I was reading it. It moved me to tears. I loved seeing how my focus was on my relationships, my marriage, my children and my family.
When I wrote the letter my daughters were just about to turn one years old. They are now seven and will turn eight years old in May. My husband and I will be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary in June.
I am still at the same job and just had my 10th anniversary at the end of March. Yet I have made strides with my art and my writing. Back in 2007 I hadn’t even heard of the Cosmic Cowgirls. It wasn’t until October of 2008 that I attended the Bountiful Conference they put on in Healdsburg, California. Being a part of this tribe has let to me writing Mojo Monday posts for nearly four years now. That it turn led to my column in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine which launched in early 2011 and has been going strong for three years. I have yet to make a living with my writing and art, and I don’t know if I will get there, but I will keep on doing what I love.
I am considering writing myself another letter withfutureme.org. I think sending one to myself five years from now on my 50th birthday sounds about right. When I contemplate what might go into such a letter I realize just how much can happen in five years. I grow emotional considering my wishes and hopes for what my life will encompass when I am fifty years old. There is something powerful in stating your hopes and intentions for your future self.
Will you write yourself a letter? Would you want to send it a year from now, five years, or maybe ten years or longer?
Share a little bit about what you are hoping and imagining for your future self in the comments.
I am longing for more revolutionary love stories. I want to hear more good stories about love, peace, equality and justice blossoming on our planet. I am longing for revolutions that bring about changes to our world in such a way that there is love between all people. I desire revolutions for peace that spread across all the lands. I want revolutions of equality between all people, no matter their gender, race, culture, sexual orientation or chosen faith. It is also time for a revolution of justice; true justice for all. To quote John Lennon, some may say I’m a dreamer, but I do know that I am not the only one.
Do my revolutionary ideas and desires about letting love rule seem unreasonable to you? Do you doubt that we can create a world of love, peace, and equality? What do you think stands in the way of reaching such goals?
Mother, teach me how to see The shining lights of stars, The faces of the Ancestors, In worlds both near and far.
Show me how to welcome The visions appearing to me, Seeing the truth in detail, Unraveling each mystery.
Walk me through the Dreamtime Of altered time and space, That I may share those visions With every creed and race.
Doorkeeper of all dimensions, I seek your Medicine ways Of how to earth my visions, Seeing truth, inside me, today.
~ Jamie Sams from “Looks Far Woman” chapter in The 13 Original Clan Mothers
Wings and fins. They have been appearing in unexpected places lately. I don’t always pay attention to signs or my muse. I get caught up in the daily routine and my focus starts to narrow in on work and a busy family calendar schedule, which has me jetting off to play volleyball on Monday nights and shuttling my sweet twin daughters to softball practices and games twice a week. All of this is after eight hours a day of supporting social workers, families and children at a foster-adoption agency. On many a evening I just want to kick back and do some Netflix streaming with the hubby, in lieu of checking in with the oracles or my muse. Yet if I stray to0 far from the creative energy within things also start to feel off kilter. I know that on a soulful level it is important for me to make time for quiet, for reflection and for pondering. Listening to my intuition and my creative impulses is also key for me to staying in touch with my soul. It is through my writing, my art and the courses I take, that I am reminded of the deeper meanings to life and also of a spiritual web that connects us all.
There are several things that I turn to to keep me connected to the muse and spirit. The first is creating the space for writing and creating, be that painting, collaging or some other form of creative outlet. Fortunately I have writing commitments that require me to write at least three articles each month. Those commitments can be a taskmaster at times (monkey on my back so to speak) but there can be a gift in discipline and accountability. There have been months where the written words have flown easily and sweetly from my mind and heart over to the page. There have also been weeks and months when I have procrastinated and struggled to get the ideas flowing, the stress growing as deadlines loomed over me. In the end it comes down to making the time and doing it even when it feels like work. Even when it is hard I still feel drawn like a moth to the flame, to compose words like music on a page into some form of lyrical story. I am grateful for the results of showing up, even when I don’t always feel like it.
Painting, collaging and general ol’ creativity is another great love. That I may go days and weeks without playing in the art room seems mad, but that is the reality from time to time. If there are extended time frames when I am not playing and creating I now see that this coincides quite regularly with feelings of lethargy, sadness, boredom, general malaise and so on. Here is where being involved in a journaling class can give me the kick in the ass I need. Its like my muse has this wicked sense of humor and entices me to sign up for something, even when the practical office manager in me is saying, “But you already have too much to do my dear, how ever can you make the time for this class? Get real.” Fortunately the muse is very persuasive and manages to lure my inner artist to retrieve the credit card and sign up while the office manager is busy doing taxes or organizing her files. It is so worth it too, for I have loved, loved, loved, the several Storywalking courses that I have taken with Jenafer Owen. The current one began on March 1st and is called Storywalking: A Very Daring Tail. Click here to read more about the intriguing details and take note that the next course begins April 21st. These courses have forced me to be more in touch with the muse, my intuition, symbolism, signs and creative visions.
One of the recent activities we were asked to complete in The Daring Tail course involved an Oracle. If you want to try it out for yourself visit the Oracle here and write down what it has to tell you. Visit it three times in row, recording each cryptic message. Then sit with it. Ponder it. Look up the true definition of key words. Be surprised sometimes to learn that words can mean something other than you thought. After much reflection how have you translated the message of the Oracle? Let me share my recent communication.
It has grown more obvious to me how, when I am closed off and in task master mode, that I can be oblivious to noticing the nuances of spirit. When I slow down and open myself to creative spirit the influx of synchronistic images or words can be profound. In January and February I had felt like I needed a break from any new commitments and had abstained from taking any on-line courses. I was still in the mode of not taking anything new, but at the last minute I signed up for The Daring Tail course, which started on March 1st. There is a theme regarding mermaids and sea life in this course. Once I was signed up I had several occasions to note that mermaids and sea life images had been showing up around me for several weeks, but that I had not noticed. A couple of weeks into the course I also remembered how I had just read the novel The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd only a couple weeks prior. Even in the prior December Storywalking course I was astonished when flipping back a few journal pages to discover the funky mer-creature I had drawn, as well as my companion animal from a guided meditation, which was none other than a whale who had a very specific message for me: “We are going to plumb the depths…and swim among the stars.”
Lastly, one other way this past year that I have seeked out greater vision and communion with spirit, has been by participating in a personal Vision Quest with a spirit guide. One of the inspirations for the journey is the book The 13 Original Clan Mothers, by Jamie Sams. Each month I am to read the assigned chapter and create my shield. My shields took the form of prayer flags and that particular vision came to me the first day I spoke with my spirit guide. There are also additional monthly assignments to complete. The journey began last June and will come to a conclusion at the end of my 13th month. I will admit that sometimes I have felt like throwing in the towel. Sometimes I have felt like an imposter. Sometimes I have questioned if I am doing enough and/or doing it right. Yet I have committed to the journey and have grown to embrace that it is mine and is not to be compared to the journey of another. This Vision Quest has also pushed me to reside in a space of greater spiritual reflection.
Storyteller ~ my first prayer flag from June 2013.
What are some ways that you stay connected to source?
Do you have regular creative practices that
feed your soul and keep you inspired?
Have you ever noticed that if/when you drift away
from doing those things that feed your soul
that you start to feel down, blue and disconnected?
Any words of wisdom about how to keep your soul fire burning bright?
“Looks Far Woman is the Clan Mother who is the Guardian of the Fourth Moon Cycle, which falls in April. The full spectrum of pastel colors is connected to the Clan Mother’s cycle, because she carries the Medicine of Prophecy, see the truth in all colors. She is the Doorkeeper of the Crack in the Universe and the Golden Door of Illumination that leads to all other dimensions of awareness. She stands at the Crack in the Universe and safely guides all human spirits taking Dreamtime journeys into the other realms and then, back home, being present and fully conscious of their bodies.
This Clan Mother is a Seer, an Oracle, a Dreamer, and a visionary.
She teaches us the validity of our impressions, dreams, visions
and feelings as they exist within our inner potential.
Looks Far Woman instructs humankind on how to unravel
the symbols found in psychic impressions.
She shows us how to see the truth in every vision we receive
in the tangible and intangible worlds.
In her wisdom, Looks Far Woman assists every seeker
in finding the seeds of personal and planetary prophecy
that the Great Mystery planted inside all human beings.”
Is your calendar full? Do you wake up thinking about the things that have to get done? Does your chore list seem a mile long? In the midst of the laundry, taking the kids to softball practices, doing your time in the 8 to 5, feeding the pets and making meals, have you scheduled joy into your day? Jonathan Robinson, author of Finding Happiness Now: 50 Shortcuts for Bringing More Love, Balance and Joy Into Your Life has some ideas and recommendations for getting happier and one involves actually scheduling joy into your life just as you would a doctors appointment or a meeting at work.
What if you aren’t clear on what brings you joy? Jonathan Robinson recommends writing out a Pain and Pleasure List (PPL). The PPL is a list of at least 10 things that you enjoy doing and and a list of 10 things you don’t particularly care for. He states the point is to clarify what really turns you on in life and what you do only because you have to — or think you should.
As an example he shares a list that a client completed when given this assignment. Here is the clients lists:
Ten Things I Don’t Like To Do
Go to work Market myself or my products Clean the house Cook Be around disagreeable people Spend time with my parents Taxes and paying the bills Give my wife a massage Go shopping for clothes or gifts Argue with my wife
Ten Things I Love To Do
Ride my bike Be by myself, reading a good book Play with the dog Eat good food Travel Get a massage Spend time in nature Make love with my wife Drive & listen to music Watch a good football game
The author then shared that after his client completed his list he asked him to estimate the number of hours every month he spent doing each activity. Jonathan writes “When he finished this part of the exercise, it was brutally clear why he was depressed, stressed and messed-up with his wife. The total number of hours on the ‘pain’ side of the list was a whopping 215 hours per month. The total number of hours on the pleasure side of the list was a meager thirty-two hours a month. That’s almost a seven-to-one ratio of pain to pleasure. I’ve found that when the degree of pain compared to pleasure rises above a five-to-one ratio people dislike their life. In order to feel good again, such people need to spend less time doing ‘painful’ activities and more time doing what they enjoy.”
The author then adds for his readers “The first key to changing your life and behaviors is to be aware of whats currently not working. If after completing your own PPL, you see a similar pattern to James’ then you’ll now you’ve been denying yourself too much. You need to put pleasurable activities at a greater level of importance in your life.”
Take some time right now to complete your own PPL List. I’ll complete one too.
Ten Things I Love To Do
Read (extra bonus points if it is in a hot bath) Be in nature and soak in the beauty Take photos of things that make me happy Laugh Listen to music with positive lyrics Play/do something fun with the family Create (paint, draw, make collages) Share juicy and uplifting conversations Feel connected to others/nurture relationships Eat/drink something delicious that also enhance my health & vitality Ten Things I Don’t Like To Do
Clean the cat box Be in a cluttered and messy living space Cook after a long day at work Have too much work to complete in a day Deal with technical difficulties Be overbooked Fall behind on writing deadlines Listen to complaining Experience conflict or be around conflict Take care of sick people
Add some of the things on your Things I Love To Do list to your calendar, be it techy style in Outlook or iCalendar or the old fashioned paper one hanging on your well. How did it feel to add these onto your calendar? Does becoming more conscious of making time for joy shift anything?
How about growing your soul while also making time for more joy? Does the concept of growing your soul sound daunting, challenging or even painful? I have some good news. According to Kurt Vonnegut growing your soul can be both simple and fun.
In 2006 Ms. Lockwood, an English teacher at Xavier High School, asked her students to write a letter to a famous author. She wanted them to discuss the author’s work and ask for advice. Kurt Vonnegut (1922 – 2007) was the only one to write back. He even signed off with a drawing.
Dear Xavier High School, and Ms. Lockwood, and Messrs Perin, McFeely, Batten, Maurer and Congiusta:
I thank you for your friendly letters. You sure know how to cheer up a really old geezer (84) in his sunset years. I don’t make public appearances any more because I now resemble nothing so much as an iguana.
What I had to say to you, moreover, would not take long, to wit: Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow.
Seriously! I mean starting right now, do art and do it for the rest of your lives. Draw a funny or nice picture of Ms. Lockwood, and give it to her. Dance home after school, and sing in the shower and on and on. Make a face in your mashed potatoes. Pretend you’re Count Dracula.
Here’s an assignment for tonight, and I hope Ms. Lockwood will flunk you if you don’t do it: Write a six line poem, about anything, but rhymed. No fair tennis without a net. Make it as good as you possibly can. But don’t tell anybody what you’re doing. Don’t show it or recite it to anybody, not even your girlfriend or parents or whatever, or Ms. Lockwood. OK?
Tear it up into teeny-weeny pieces, and discard them into widely separated trash recepticals. You will find that you have already been gloriously rewarded for your poem. You have experienced becoming, learned a lot more about what’s inside you, and you have made your soul grow.
God bless you all!
Kurt Vonnegut
Right now let’s do Kurt Vonnegut’s assignment and write a six line poem. Keep it simple and easy and just see what flows out.
Did you learn anything new about yourself after completing your poem? Was there a message from your soul?
“When you lean into your desires, you liberate your power – and your joy.” Danielle LaPorte
I have been contemplating the question “What makes me happy?” for a few weeks now. I have a Mojo Monday writing partner though her articles only appear on the Cosmic Cowgirl member sites, where my Mojo Monday musings also get posted. Trish O’Malley has been brilliantly covering the topic of happiness for a couple of weeks now. What I shared after her last post was the following:
“I read the intro to Danielle LaPorte’s book called The Desire Map on Amazon for the first time a week or so ago. It really stuck with me when she shares how she and her former husband were making lists about things they wanted in their lives. And how it was a great aha moment when they suddenly realized that it wasn’t so much the things, but the feelings they were hoping to attain. She shared how that shifted their list.”
Danielle then goes onto list the words that flowed forth and the ensuing conversation:
Freedom!
Abundance.
Sexy.
Earth. Nature. Eco-love.
Connected.
Creative.
Temple.
True love.
The posts on happiness by Trish and checking out the contents of the book The Desire Map was timely for me. My home life is good. My hubby and I are in a really good place with one another. My twin daughters are almost eight years old and are such a total joy. They are fun and blossoming in so many ways. I love coming home to them and spending time together as a family.
Where I am struggling is in my professional life. At the end of March my 10 year anniversary with the agency I work for will come to pass. 10 years. It kind of blows my mind that I have been doing this job for 10 years. I still hold such deep gratitude for all I have learned and how my life has been enriched doing work that makes a positive difference in the world. My peers for the most part are all social workers who have masters degrees or who have gone onto get licensed. It has been a beautiful fit for me because I do have the soul and spirit of a social worker. Recently when I took one of those Facebook quizzes about which career would be best for me the answer was Humanitarian, and it listed social worker for a career. (You can find the quiz here if you would like to take it too.)
While I may have the soul of a social worker I don’t have a social worker degree, though I wish I would have been better informed about my options in college. Instead I have a degree in History, another in French, along with a minor in English and certificates in editing and publishing. My creativity, organizational strengths and technology skills have served me well in administrative and office manager jobs in printing, education and then social services.
For a number of months I truly have been making myself miserable and sad with my own thoughts about success/lack of success and so on. I have had this storyline stuck in a loop-feed in my head about my being 44 years old and only making “X” amount of money. This partly surprises me because I have never been about the money. However, I know that tied up in this is feeling like I have hit the ceiling in my current position. Not to mention that I have also been in limbo for many months in regards to where a writing project might be leading. Waiting, when it could likely end with rejection, has been stressful. (Note to self ~ I really need to work on more letting go and anxiety/stress-relieving techniques. Perhaps re-read my own post about anxiety that can be found here.)
In exploring the topic of what do I want, I am now asking the more important questions regarding what makes me happy and what do I want to feel. I have been setting my sights on getting clearer on what makes me sad/angry/frustrated/stressed, and then even more importantly what makes me feel happy and inspired. I think starting there will be a key ingredient to choosing and creating more happiness. I believe those answers can help me make some decisions about the future of my writing and art, my creative dreams/goals and my professional aspirations.
How do you want to feel in your life?
What makes you happy?
What makes you feel inspired?
Does writing a list and getting clear
on those answers shift things for you?
Want to do some explorations of the soul? Consider joining a course with Jenafer Owen that begins March 3rd called A Very Daring Tail.
My enthusiasm for bright new ideas and plans for the future has been lagging lately. This didn’t bode well as I began to try and figure out what I would write about the topic of Manifestation. In light of my floundering I found myself googling “What if you don’t know what you want to manifest?” except that I somehow typed it wrong and wrote “What if you don’t know what you have to manifest?” The change from want to to have to gave the question a whole new energy. I laughed a little and looked up and asked the Universe, “What is it that I have to manifest?”
We Are All Meant to Shine! 