The following is an e-mail from the past, composed 6 years, 11 months and 23 days ago, on April 18, 2007. It is being delivered from the past through FutureMe.org.
(It was delivered via email to me on April 10, 2014, my 45th birthday.)
Happy Birthday Michelle! You are 45 today – wow!
Did you forget about this message? You wrote it 7 years ago. I am sure that a lot has happened in 7 years. I hope that you find yourself in a good and happy place in your life.
At the time of writing this letter you were still feeling some insecurities about some aspects of your life. There were little worries about your marriage. Some hurts and frustrations that you are planning and hoping to work through. Next week you will be meeting with a therapist for the first time in your life. You are nervous about it and also have great hopes. You are hoping that it helps you work through some of your anger and frustration in regards to the relationship with your husband and also with your mother. Oh how cliche that sounds. The archetypal mother-daughter conflicted relationship.
I have had moments of doubt about my marriage making it for the long haul. Sitting here now though and really contemplating the future I see clearly that I want this marriage to work. That is what I envision in my future. I want to know that 7 years from now when I receive this email that my husband will still be by my side. That we will be raising our children together and growing old together. I want our relationship to be solid, loving and fun. I want us to celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary this June together.
Not only have you aged but so has everyone else. Your husband is going to be 52 years old in May. And your twin daughters – wow they will be 8 years old in May. Just thinking about such a passage of time in connection with your loved ones brings tears to your eyes.
There are also the fur-kids to consider. Hopefully both are still with the family. Our furry friends just don’t live long enough. The cat will be 17 years old and the dog will be 11. I hope they are still with us. Just thinking of them passing is hard to imagine.
There are also my siblings and my parents. What changes have taken place in our family during this time frame. I know from experience how the unexpected can happen. I’ve already lost two brothers and a fiance in my past.
Are you still working at the same job? You had a good job back then with a great organization. I also know that you are capable of more. You have a lot of creative talents and you can write. I am hoping that you have moved in the direction of putting your creative talents to work and are making a living in that area. You have entered into the world of digital design recently. You love to play with images. Finding the right combination of writing and design would be perfect.
Here are some of my wishes for you in the future.
I hope that you have learned to be more relaxed.
I hope that you are more accepting of yourself and your imperfections.
I hope that you are comfortable with your body.
I hope that you are having lots of fun in your life.
I hope that you have a great relationship with your husband.
I hope that you and your daughters are so very close and love spending time together.
I hope that your daughters are happy, healthy and loving life.
I hope that your parents are still alive and that you have a healthy and close relationship with them.
I hope you are doing things you love professionally.
I hope that you have a close circle of friends and that you still spend time with them.
I hope you have found effective ways to take good care of you.
I hope you have learned to express your needs to others.
I hope your hair looks good -tee hee.
I hope you are happy – most of the time.
I was surprised when I received the letter above. It was nearly 7 years ago when I wrote it and my memory of doing so really didn’t come back until I was reading it. It moved me to tears. I loved seeing how my focus was on my relationships, my marriage, my children and my family.
When I wrote the letter my daughters were just about to turn one years old. They are now seven and will turn eight years old in May. My husband and I will be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary in June.
I am still at the same job and just had my 10th anniversary at the end of March. Yet I have made strides with my art and my writing. Back in 2007 I hadn’t even heard of the Cosmic Cowgirls. It wasn’t until October of 2008 that I attended the Bountiful Conference they put on in Healdsburg, California. Being a part of this tribe has let to me writing Mojo Monday posts for nearly four years now. That it turn led to my column in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine which launched in early 2011 and has been going strong for three years. I have yet to make a living with my writing and art, and I don’t know if I will get there, but I will keep on doing what I love.
I am considering writing myself another letter with futureme.org. I think sending one to myself five years from now on my 50th birthday sounds about right. When I contemplate what might go into such a letter I realize just how much can happen in five years. I grow emotional considering my wishes and hopes for what my life will encompass when I am fifty years old. There is something powerful in stating your hopes and intentions for your future self.
Will you write yourself a letter? Would you want to send it a year from now, five years, or maybe ten years or longer?
Share a little bit about what you are hoping and imagining for your future self in the comments.