Category: Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine
Shades of Fucking Gray or Delicious Ambiguity?
Come read my latest article called
Shades of Fucking Gray or Delicious Ambiguity?
in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine
“Doubt is not a pleasant condition,
but certainty is absurd.”
– Voltaire
If you have come to read about obsessive love and kinky sex you have landed on the wrong article, though I am quite certain that via a Google search you can find references to that book or its new movie trailer. This article is about something far more down and dirty. I am talking about righteous certainty, black & white thinking, and arrogant belief systems.
Some of the words I chose are provoking and have negative connotations ~ words like righteous and arrogant, but I did so intentionally since we are exploring the terrain of that which is Taboo. This is also why there is profanity in the title of this article. I am not one to drop the F bomb in public, well not often, but those really close to me know that given the right set of circumstances I can swear like a sailor.
Honestly, I almost faltered on including that particular word, but I use it with intention. This is not the first time I have been drawn to write about the world of mystery. Two of my previous articles, one entitled Do You Trust the Mystery?and another entitled The Sacred Space In Between have touched upon the topics of uncertainty and doubt. I have shared about both my fascination with faith and the beauty of doubt, but also my struggle with trusting ambiguity. In the past I have taken a softer approach in my explorations of these topics. This time I am pulling off the gloves and taking to task those things that make my fists clench, for you see when I look around I am finding much to agree with in Voltaire’s conclusion that “Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.”
We Are All Going to Die. Poetry Can Help.
Come read my latest article called
We Are All Going to Die. Poetry Can Help.
in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine
You can’t hide
You can’t hide
You can’t hide
Because you don’t know how
God’s got your number
And he knows where you live
Death’s got a warrant out for you
~ Lyrics to Death’s Got A Warrant by Patty Griffin
As I revealed in my previous article Naked Vulnerability, learning we would be writing about Taboo topics this year gave me pause. This new agenda has me contemplating and sometimes wondering what I will write about. I am used to writing about inspirational topics with encouraging phrases about letting your light shine. Writing about all things Taboo feels challenging. It leads me to probe the shadows, the darker recesses, and the stories that are sometimes hard to talk about. I have a handful of ideas and some really great titles rolling around in my head and I actually thought I would tackle an article about “Identity” first. However, another topic came to the forefront recently, even though I originally thought it would be the last article I would write. The topic of Death seemed like the perfect end piece to a series, but it appears my Muse has other ideas.
My first wondering and pondering is: Why is the topic of death so taboo? This led me to the interesting realization that the creation of life (aka sex) is also a taboo topic.
Naked Vulnerability
Come read my latest article called
Naked Vulnerability
in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine.
I sat in the creek, sweet water gurgling and caressing my naked body. I gazed at the greenery, the light reflecting off the water, and felt the very chilly water pour over my thighs, while the gentle breath of warm air on my face and shoulders offered a stark contrast. Under the canopy of tall trees and dappled sunlight it was easy to feel small, but in a good way, in the way you feel awe struck and full of wonder about the breathtaking beauty of our planet. Nature often has that effect on me, but to experience being completely naked and so remarkably peaceful as I listened to the natural sounds of birds and the water, was spiritually soothing and uplifting. Harmonizing with the rustling of leaves and the babbling water flowed the spoken word of a sacred water dedication,
“Water Spirits know this child as your sister…
Give her the ability to flow in life’s stream…
Great Spirit, this child is of the people…
guide her to always walk in beauty.”
Come read the entire article over at Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine.
Inventing Your Legendary Wings
Come read my latest article called
Inventing Your Legendary Wings
in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine.
“As I read about the [Grimke] sisters,
I was drawn more and more to Sarah and what she’d overcome.
Before stepping onto the public stage, she experienced
intense longings for a vocation, crushed hopes, betrayal,
unrequited love, loneliness, self-doubt, ostracism, and suffocating silence.
It seemed to me she had invented her wings
not so much in spite of these things, but because of them.”
~ Sue Monk Kidd
Are you Legendary?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Really we do.
Come read the entire article over at Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine.
Mojo Monday ~ Write A Letter to Your Future Self
The following is an e-mail from the past, composed 6 years, 11 months and 23 days ago, on April 18, 2007. It is being delivered from the past through FutureMe.org.
(It was delivered via email to me on April 10, 2014, my 45th birthday.)
Dear FutureMe,
Happy Birthday Michelle! You are 45 today – wow!
Did you forget about this message? You wrote it 7 years ago. I am sure that a lot has happened in 7 years. I hope that you find yourself in a good and happy place in your life.
At the time of writing this letter you were still feeling some insecurities about some aspects of your life. There were little worries about your marriage. Some hurts and frustrations that you are planning and hoping to work through. Next week you will be meeting with a therapist for the first time in your life. You are nervous about it and also have great hopes. You are hoping that it helps you work through some of your anger and frustration in regards to the relationship with your husband and also with your mother. Oh how cliche that sounds. The archetypal mother-daughter conflicted relationship.
I have had moments of doubt about my marriage making it for the long haul. Sitting here now though and really contemplating the future I see clearly that I want this marriage to work. That is what I envision in my future. I want to know that 7 years from now when I receive this email that my husband will still be by my side. That we will be raising our children together and growing old together. I want our relationship to be solid, loving and fun. I want us to celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary this June together.
Not only have you aged but so has everyone else. Your husband is going to be 52 years old in May. And your twin daughters – wow they will be 8 years old in May. Just thinking about such a passage of time in connection with your loved ones brings tears to your eyes.
There are also the fur-kids to consider. Hopefully both are still with the family. Our furry friends just don’t live long enough. The cat will be 17 years old and the dog will be 11. I hope they are still with us. Just thinking of them passing is hard to imagine.
There are also my siblings and my parents. What changes have taken place in our family during this time frame. I know from experience how the unexpected can happen. I’ve already lost two brothers and a fiance in my past.
Are you still working at the same job? You had a good job back then with a great organization. I also know that you are capable of more. You have a lot of creative talents and you can write. I am hoping that you have moved in the direction of putting your creative talents to work and are making a living in that area. You have entered into the world of digital design recently. You love to play with images. Finding the right combination of writing and design would be perfect.
Here are some of my wishes for you in the future.
I hope that you have learned to be more relaxed.
I hope that you are more accepting of yourself and your imperfections.
I hope that you are comfortable with your body.
I hope that you are having lots of fun in your life.
I hope that you have a great relationship with your husband.
I hope that you and your daughters are so very close and love spending time together.
I hope that your daughters are happy, healthy and loving life.
I hope that your parents are still alive and that you have a healthy and close relationship with them.
I hope you are doing things you love professionally.
I hope that you have a close circle of friends and that you still spend time with them.
I hope you have found effective ways to take good care of you.
I hope you have learned to express your needs to others.
I hope your hair looks good -tee hee.
I hope you are happy – most of the time.
I was surprised when I received the letter above. It was nearly 7 years ago when I wrote it and my memory of doing so really didn’t come back until I was reading it. It moved me to tears. I loved seeing how my focus was on my relationships, my marriage, my children and my family.
When I wrote the letter my daughters were just about to turn one years old. They are now seven and will turn eight years old in May. My husband and I will be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary in June.
I am still at the same job and just had my 10th anniversary at the end of March. Yet I have made strides with my art and my writing. Back in 2007 I hadn’t even heard of the Cosmic Cowgirls. It wasn’t until October of 2008 that I attended the Bountiful Conference they put on in Healdsburg, California. Being a part of this tribe has let to me writing Mojo Monday posts for nearly four years now. That it turn led to my column in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine which launched in early 2011 and has been going strong for three years. I have yet to make a living with my writing and art, and I don’t know if I will get there, but I will keep on doing what I love.
I am considering writing myself another letter with futureme.org. I think sending one to myself five years from now on my 50th birthday sounds about right. When I contemplate what might go into such a letter I realize just how much can happen in five years. I grow emotional considering my wishes and hopes for what my life will encompass when I am fifty years old. There is something powerful in stating your hopes and intentions for your future self.
Will you write yourself a letter? Would you want to send it a year from now, five years, or maybe ten years or longer?
Share a little bit about what you are hoping and imagining for your future self in the comments.
Revolutionary Love Stories
Come read my latest article called
Revolutionary Love Stories
in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine
Love. Peace. Equality. Justice.
I am longing for more revolutionary love stories. I want to hear more good stories about love, peace, equality and justice blossoming on our planet. I am longing for revolutions that bring about changes to our world in such a way that there is love between all people. I desire revolutions for peace that spread across all the lands. I want revolutions of equality between all people, no matter their gender, race, culture, sexual orientation or chosen faith. It is also time for a revolution of justice; true justice for all. To quote John Lennon, some may say I’m a dreamer, but I do know that I am not the only one.
Do my revolutionary ideas and desires about letting love rule seem unreasonable to you? Do you doubt that we can create a world of love, peace, and equality? What do you think stands in the way of reaching such goals?
Come read the entire article over at Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine.
Mojo Monday ~ Cracks In the Universe
Mother, teach me how to see
The shining lights of stars,
The faces of the Ancestors,
In worlds both near and far.
Show me how to welcome
The visions appearing to me,
Seeing the truth in detail,
Unraveling each mystery.
Walk me through the Dreamtime
Of altered time and space,
That I may share those visions
With every creed and race.
Doorkeeper of all dimensions,
I seek your Medicine ways
Of how to earth my visions,
Seeing truth, inside me, today.
~ Jamie Sams from “Looks Far Woman” chapter
in The 13 Original Clan Mothers
Wings and fins. They have been appearing in unexpected places lately. I don’t always pay attention to signs or my muse. I get caught up in the daily routine and my focus starts to narrow in on work and a busy family calendar schedule, which has me jetting off to play volleyball on Monday nights and shuttling my sweet twin daughters to softball practices and games twice a week. All of this is after eight hours a day of supporting social workers, families and children at a foster-adoption agency. On many a evening I just want to kick back and do some Netflix streaming with the hubby, in lieu of checking in with the oracles or my muse. Yet if I stray to0 far from the creative energy within things also start to feel off kilter. I know that on a soulful level it is important for me to make time for quiet, for reflection and for pondering. Listening to my intuition and my creative impulses is also key for me to staying in touch with my soul. It is through my writing, my art and the courses I take, that I am reminded of the deeper meanings to life and also of a spiritual web that connects us all.
There are several things that I turn to to keep me connected to the muse and spirit. The first is creating the space for writing and creating, be that painting, collaging or some other form of creative outlet. Fortunately I have writing commitments that require me to write at least three articles each month. Those commitments can be a taskmaster at times (monkey on my back so to speak) but there can be a gift in discipline and accountability. There have been months where the written words have flown easily and sweetly from my mind and heart over to the page. There have also been weeks and months when I have procrastinated and struggled to get the ideas flowing, the stress growing as deadlines loomed over me. In the end it comes down to making the time and doing it even when it feels like work. Even when it is hard I still feel drawn like a moth to the flame, to compose words like music on a page into some form of lyrical story. I am grateful for the results of showing up, even when I don’t always feel like it.
Painting, collaging and general ol’ creativity is another great love. That I may go days and weeks without playing in the art room seems mad, but that is the reality from time to time. If there are extended time frames when I am not playing and creating I now see that this coincides quite regularly with feelings of lethargy, sadness, boredom, general malaise and so on. Here is where being involved in a journaling class can give me the kick in the ass I need. Its like my muse has this wicked sense of humor and entices me to sign up for something, even when the practical office manager in me is saying, “But you already have too much to do my dear, how ever can you make the time for this class? Get real.” Fortunately the muse is very persuasive and manages to lure my inner artist to retrieve the credit card and sign up while the office manager is busy doing taxes or organizing her files. It is so worth it too, for I have loved, loved, loved, the several Storywalking courses that I have taken with Jenafer Owen. The current one began on March 1st and is called Storywalking: A Very Daring Tail. Click here to read more about the intriguing details and take note that the next course begins April 21st. These courses have forced me to be more in touch with the muse, my intuition, symbolism, signs and creative visions.
One of the recent activities we were asked to complete in The Daring Tail course involved an Oracle. If you want to try it out for yourself visit the Oracle here and write down what it has to tell you. Visit it three times in row, recording each cryptic message. Then sit with it. Ponder it. Look up the true definition of key words. Be surprised sometimes to learn that words can mean something other than you thought. After much reflection how have you translated the message of the Oracle? Let me share my recent communication.
It has grown more obvious to me how, when I am closed off and in task master mode, that I can be oblivious to noticing the nuances of spirit. When I slow down and open myself to creative spirit the influx of synchronistic images or words can be profound. In January and February I had felt like I needed a break from any new commitments and had abstained from taking any on-line courses. I was still in the mode of not taking anything new, but at the last minute I signed up for The Daring Tail course, which started on March 1st. There is a theme regarding mermaids and sea life in this course. Once I was signed up I had several occasions to note that mermaids and sea life images had been showing up around me for several weeks, but that I had not noticed. A couple of weeks into the course I also remembered how I had just read the novel The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd only a couple weeks prior. Even in the prior December Storywalking course I was astonished when flipping back a few journal pages to discover the funky mer-creature I had drawn, as well as my companion animal from a guided meditation, which was none other than a whale who had a very specific message for me: “We are going to plumb the depths…and swim among the stars.”
Lastly, one other way this past year that I have seeked out greater vision and communion with spirit, has been by participating in a personal Vision Quest with a spirit guide. One of the inspirations for the journey is the book The 13 Original Clan Mothers, by Jamie Sams. Each month I am to read the assigned chapter and create my shield. My shields took the form of prayer flags and that particular vision came to me the first day I spoke with my spirit guide. There are also additional monthly assignments to complete. The journey began last June and will come to a conclusion at the end of my 13th month. I will admit that sometimes I have felt like throwing in the towel. Sometimes I have felt like an imposter. Sometimes I have questioned if I am doing enough and/or doing it right. Yet I have committed to the journey and have grown to embrace that it is mine and is not to be compared to the journey of another. This Vision Quest has also pushed me to reside in a space of greater spiritual reflection.
What are some ways that you stay connected to source?
Do you have regular creative practices that
feed your soul and keep you inspired?
Have you ever noticed that if/when you drift away
from doing those things that feed your soul
that you start to feel down, blue and disconnected?
Any words of wisdom about how to keep your soul fire burning bright?
“Looks Far Woman is the Clan Mother who is the
Guardian of the Fourth Moon Cycle, which falls in April.
The full spectrum of pastel colors is connected to the
Clan Mother’s cycle, because she carries the
Medicine of Prophecy, see the truth in all colors.
She is the Doorkeeper of the Crack in the Universe
and the Golden Door of Illumination that
leads to all other dimensions of awareness.
She stands at the Crack in the Universe
and safely guides all human spirits taking Dreamtime journeys
into the other realms and then, back home,
being present and fully conscious of their bodies.
This Clan Mother is a Seer, an Oracle, a Dreamer, and a visionary.
She teaches us the validity of our impressions, dreams, visions
and feelings as they exist within our inner potential.
Looks Far Woman instructs humankind on how to unravel
the symbols found in psychic impressions.
She shows us how to see the truth in every vision we receive
in the tangible and intangible worlds.
In her wisdom, Looks Far Woman assists every seeker
in finding the seeds of personal and planetary prophecy
that the Great Mystery planted inside all human beings.”
~ Jamie Sams from The 13 Original Clan Mothers
Manifesting In A Wonderland
Today in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine
is my latest article called
Manifesting In A Wonderland
My enthusiasm for bright new ideas and plans for the future has been lagging lately. This didn’t bode well as I began to try and figure out what I would write about the topic of Manifestation. In light of my floundering I found myself googling “What if you don’t know what you want to manifest?” except that I somehow typed it wrong and wrote “What if you don’t know what you have to manifest?” The change from want to to have to gave the question a whole new energy. I laughed a little and looked up and asked the Universe, “What is it that I have to manifest?”
Wielding the Healing Wand
Today in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine
is my latest article called
is my latest article called
“At the end of your brush is the tip of your soul.”
~ Andrew Hamilton
~ Andrew Hamilton
Some of my mission here on planet mama earth is to shine a light on extending love and grace to ourselves. I don’t have a magic wand that can heal others or make people love themselves. My wand can only work on me. The good news is that I am quite confident that everyone has such a wand.
Magic Wand photo by Michelle Fairchild
To read more come visit Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine.
We Are All Meant to Shine! 