Mojo Monday ~ Pursuing Our Passions

A Dream Ready to Fly by Aaron Paquette

Following quote from
acclaimed artist Aaron Paquette

You think you don’t have enough knowledge yet,
or training or time.

You think all these things and so your
mind listens and makes it so.

Isn’t time to believe all things are possible?

Isn’t it time to let go of that great evil, perfectionism,
and let your work be imperfect without fear of judgement?

Isn’t it time to cast worry aside and grab hold
of your purpose, your reason, your destiny?

I will tell you what you already know:

This is the time.

This is your day.

This is the moment you feel a flame in your heart
growing, spreading, filling you with Life!

Nurture it!

Protect it!

Help it grow.

It’s the true expression of your very own
soul longing to breathe free.

Longing to fly.

Are you ready? It may not feel like it, but you are.

Will you fall? Absolutely!

And will you rise?

Absolutely.

Do what you have to do to make it happen right now.
Change everything. Now.

You are fierce and beautiful and strong.

Show it to the world.

Hiy hiy

Returning Home by Aaron Paquette
Returning Home by Aaron Paquette

Artist Aaron Paquette is one of Canadaʼs premiere First Nations artists. He is a painter, writer, keynote speaker and workshop facilitator. He is also a political commentator, illustrator, goldsmith and cathedral stained glass artist.  Please visit his web site here.

His recent projects include a major reconciliation mural for Edmonton’s LRT Grandin Station, a series of four paintings depicting the challenges faced by Canada’s indigenous people entitled, “Four Directions”, and he is curating a traveling exhibit for the Art Gallery of Alberta.

Image from mural at Gradin Station
Image from mural at Gradin Station

 

Lastly Aaron just released a debut young adult novel entitled Lightfinder, through Kegedonce Press. Here is a synopsis of the book:

Lightfinder book cover
Lightfinder book cover

Aisling is a young Cree woman who sets out into the wilderness with her Kokum (grandmother), Aunty and two young men she barely knows. They have to find and rescue her runaway younger brother, Eric. Along the way she learns that the legends of her people might be real and that she has a growing power of her own.

The story follows the paths of Aisling and Eric, siblings unwittingly thrust into a millennia old struggle for the future of life on earth. It deals with growing up, love and loss, and the choices life puts in our path. Love and confusion are in store, as are loss and pain. Things are not always what they seem and danger surrounds them at every turn.

Will Raven”s mysterious purposes prevail? With darkness closing in how will they find the light to guide them? Will Aisling find Eric in time?

 

 

 

Here is a beautiful three part series of videos with Aaron Paquette by Bravo!  The first video provides some background on Aaron and the second and third videos delve deeper into his art and spirituality.  I was very moved and inspired by what he shared and think you will be too.  It is well worth the time to watch all three.

From the Spirit Part 1

From the Spirit Part 2

From the Spirit Part 3

Abundance by Aaron Paquette
Abundance by Aaron Paquette
Lay Down Your Burdens by Aaron Paquette
Lay Down Your Burdens by Aaron Paquette

Aaron Paquette’s story was inspirational to me because it is an example of a person living his vision and acting upon his passion.  I will share another example from an article by Dr. Margaret Paul called “Are You Playing Too Small?”

“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” ~Nelson Mandela

“Do you feel passionate about your life? If not, you are likely playing too small – opting for safety rather than for the aliveness that comes from fully manifesting your gifts and talents.

We have all been given unique gifts and talents. Some indigenous people know this and choose not to name their children until their unique talents emerge. For example, they might name their child “Basketweaver” or “Listener” or “Healer” when these talents emerge. They fully believe in encouraging the child’s natural gifts and talents.

For some strange reason, many of my clients believe that if something comes easily to them – if it is a natural talent – then it’s not what they should pursue. They believe that for something to be worthwhile, it has to be hard. Yet this is exactly the opposite of the truth! That which comes easy to you is your natural gift or talent, and it is likely what brings you the most joy.

My client, Skip, started working with me due to depression. He was a successful dentist with a lovely wife and three children whom he adored, but still, he was depressed.

As we explored what was going on in his life, he told me that he became a dentist because his father was a dentist and his father wanted him to take over his very lucrative practice. But Skip did not enjoy dentistry like his father did. He never felt passionate about his work. It soon became evident that his depression was related to not doing what he really wanted to do.

Skip knew early in his life that he had two passions: psychology and writing poetry. He had been writing poetry since he was child and had even published a small poetry book, which had received some acclaim and which brought him great joy.

He had always been interested in psychology, and had read extensively in this field. But his father had convinced him that he could not earn enough as a psychologist and a poet to support a family, and that he had to think of others rather than himself.

Now, with a wife and three children, he felt trapped doing something for the rest of his life that brought him no joy. He dragged himself to work each day, and lived for the few hours when he had time to write poetry, as well as to spend time with his family.

When Skip realized that he couldn’t be a good husband and father being so depressed, he decided to make a huge life change. With the support of his wife, he cut his dental practice in half and went back to school to become a psychologist. And he started making more time for writing – both poetry and fiction.

As it turned out, Skip is an amazing writer and storyteller. His first book of fiction was published and did well. He is currently working on his second novel and finishing his PhD is psychology. With the income from his book, he is able to continue to support his family with his half-time dental practice. Because he is doing what brings him joy and manifesting his gifts and talents, he is also enjoying dentistry much more. He plans to continue his half-time dental practice, establish a small psychology practice, and continue writing. Somehow, he has also found more time to be with his family.

Skip is being as big as he really is and is no longer depressed! By following his passions, he has renewed energy and aliveness for his life and finds that he has time to do all that brings him joy.”

A Fearless Heart by Aaron Paquette
A Fearless Heart by Aaron Paquette

Aaron shared about being in connection with spirit and creating his art and how this led him to a more stable, centered and spiritual life.  Dr. Margaret Paul then shared about her former client who finally dared to pursue the passions he had suppressed and in turn found freedom from the depression that had plagued him.

Where are you at with pursuing your passions?  Do you know what they are or are you still figuring it out?

Sometimes our responsibilities regarding caring for others and jobs that pay our bills make it more difficult to pursue our passions.  Do you make the time to do the things you love?  If not how could you change that?  If you do make the time, do have any words of wisdom for those who struggle to do so?

Do you find that there is a connection between your passions and your spirituality?  If yes, how does that influence you?

Mojo Monday ~ Listening to Your Heart

Listen_to_Your_Heart

Listening.

This is my focus this month.  

I am trying to quiet my mind that is known to race, make lists, check off to-do lists, focus on schedules and spiral or spin on a variety of subjects.

I am also attempting to get clearer on what makes my heart sing, what also brings me peace, happiness, contentment and joy.  

On May 2nd my listening to what speaks to me had me paying close attention to a post by Mary Anne Radmacher, a writer and artist I have long admired and found inspirational.  Here is what she shared on her Facebook page.

“What do you think of those ‘training opportunities’ that assure they will double, or triple your business activity? Hmmm. Just got a note from Twitter that they want to help me grow my business. So kind. A live stream webinar of experts teaching me how to optimize my twitter feed. Do I want to grow my business? Yes. Yes, I do. Do I want to grow my business applying a formula and rationale that is being taught to and applied by tens of thousands of people? I don’t think I do. When I offer something I’ve made, I tell about it. I show you. If I’m excited or touched or impacted, I tell you that, too. Sometimes I remember to link to twitter. Sometimes I don’t. But at least people know when I show up on social media it’s because I want to be there. I think formulas are great – and they are formulas because they work. That said, I think I’ll stick to my plod-along ” marketing formula.” What is that? Create fresh + meaningful message + sharing + showing = a business that feels good to me.”

This spoke to me when I read it.  I love how her focus is on creating fresh and meaningful messages, sharing and showing, and definitely connecting with other people.  This speaks to me as I explore my own dreams and goals.  I tucked this into my bag of inspirational messages for the month.

listening-to-nature-pic-300x300

This is also the month for the chapter called “Listening Woman” in The 13 Original Clan Mothers, by Jamie Sams.  Here is how the chapter begins:

Echoes of the Ancestors
Ride the Winds of Change,
Voices of the Creatures
Calling out my name.
Singing spirits on the breeze,
The crashing of waves to shore,
The poundings of Earth Mother’s heart
Teach me what to listen for.
In stillness, before dusk and dawn,
Hidden messages are set free.
Like the chants of my people,
Their rhythms speak to me.
My ears can hear this music,
And my heart can understand.
Clan Mother of Tiyoweh,
I am yours to command.
I listen for your whispers
On a course you will chart,
Searching for the still voice
That lives within my heart.

 

Quotation-Thor-Heyerdahl-live-people-university-listening-nature-Meetville-Quotes-76825 

One of my deep loves is to listen to music.  I love to really hear the lyrics and to seek out inspirational messages.  Here are two new songs that have my heart listening.  The first is called The Heart by a band called Needtobreathe.  The second is the song Love Me by Katy Perry.

Here is the official music video for the song The Heart by Needtobreathe

The Heart
Lyrics by Needtobreathe

Ain’t no gift like the present tense
Ain’t no love like an old romance
Got’sta make hay when the sun is shinin’
Can’t waste time when it comes time to dance

Slammin’ this door with a heavy hand
signin’ this line like a deed to land
keeping in touch with the windows down
Dreading this night since the rain hit the ground

[Chorus]
Long live the heart
Long live the soul
That knows what it wants
That piece you can find
That part is the whole
It never lets go

Always tryin to be the one outlaw
Goes where he wants never does get caught
Pushing this line like the Lord ain’t comin’
Building this house like they’re scared of something else

[Pre Chorus]
Be my winter in this living hell
Be my one last dying wishing well
oh well

[Chorus]
Long live the heart
Long live the soul
That knows what it wants
That piece you can find
That part is the whole
It never lets go

[Bridge]
Got’sta make hay when the sun is shinin
Can’t waste time when it comes time to dance
keeping in touch with the windows down
Dreading this night since the rain hit the ground

[Chorus]
Long live the heart
Long live the soul
That knows what it wants
That piece you can find
That part is the whole
It never lets go

[Chorus]
Long live the heart
Long live the soul
That knows what it wants
No matter how far
How heavy this load
It never lets go

There is no official video for the song Love Me by Katy Perry, but here is a fanmade video that paired the song with a promotional video for Katy Perry’s perfume.  

Love Me
Lyrics by Katy Perry

I lost myself in fear of losing you
I wish I didn’t do, but I did
I lost my own, my own identity
Forgot that you picked me, for me

But now, I don’t negotiate with insecurities
They always seem to get the best of me
I found I had to love myself, the way I want you to

Love me, no more second guessing
No, there’s no more questioning
I’ll be the one defining who I’m gonna be
No concealing feelings, or changing seasonally
I’m gonna love myself, the way I want you to love me

Sometimes I wish my skin was a costume
That I could just unzip, and strip
But who I am is who I’m meant to be
And it’s who you are in love, in love with
So now, I don’t negotiate with insecurities
You’re gonna have to take a back seat
I know I have to love myself, the way I want you to

Love me, no more second guessing
No, there’s no more questioning
I’ll be the one defining who I’m gonna be
No concealing feelings, or changing seasonally
I’m gonna love myself, the way I want you to love me

No more standing in my own way
Let’s get deeper, let’s get closer
No more standing in my own way
(I want you to love me)
No more standing in my own way
Let’s get deeper, let’s get closer
No more standing in my own way
(I want you to love me)

No more second guessing
No, there’s no more questioning
I’ll be the one defining who I’m gonna be
No concealing my feelings, or changing seasonally
I’m gonna love myself, the way I want you to love me

No more second guessing
No, there’s no more questioning
I’ll be the one defining who I’m gonna be
No concealing feelings, or changing seasonally
I’m gonna love myself, the way I want you to love me


Quiet and listen near a little stream

This week (or month) carve out some time to listen.  

What catches your attention when you make it a priority?  

Even when reading what jumps out at you when you listen with your heart?

Seek out some new music.  Listen to a new-to-you band.  What do you hear?

Go outside and soak in the sounds of nature.  How do the sounds make you feel?

When a loved one speaks to you really listen and then also try focusing on listening with your heart. Does anything change when you place a focus on it?

Inventing Your Legendary Wings

CC Magazine Logo (1)

699bd-michellefairchildccmagazineheader4-5-13

Come read my latest article called
Inventing Your Legendary Wings
in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine.

 

“As I read about the [Grimke] sisters,
I was drawn more and more to Sarah and what she’d overcome.
Before stepping onto the public stage, she experienced
intense longings for a vocation, crushed hopes, betrayal,
unrequited love, loneliness, self-doubt, ostracism, and suffocating silence.
It seemed to me she had invented her wings
not so much in spite of these things, but because of them.”
~ Sue Monk Kidd

black-wings-trees-fly as seen on www.layoutsparks.com
black-wings-trees-fly as seen on http://www.layoutsparks.com

Are you Legendary?

Inquiring minds want to know.
Really we do.

Come read the entire article over at Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine.

Mojo Monday ~ Write A Letter to Your Future Self

Write a letter to your future self

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed 6 years, 11 months and 23 days ago, on April 18, 2007. It is being delivered from the past through FutureMe.org.  

(It was delivered via email to me on April 10, 2014, my 45th birthday.)

Dear FutureMe,

Happy Birthday Michelle! You are 45 today – wow!

Did you forget about this message? You wrote it 7 years ago. I am sure that a lot has happened in 7 years. I hope that you find yourself in a good and happy place in your life.

At the time of writing this letter you were still feeling some insecurities about some aspects of your life. There were little worries about your marriage. Some hurts and frustrations that you are planning and hoping to work through. Next week you will be meeting with a therapist for the first time in your life. You are nervous about it and also have great hopes. You are hoping that it helps you work through some of your anger and frustration in regards to the relationship with your husband and also with your mother. Oh how cliche that sounds. The archetypal mother-daughter conflicted relationship.

I have had moments of doubt about my marriage making it for the long haul. Sitting here now though and really contemplating the future I see clearly that I want this marriage to work. That is what I envision in my future. I want to know that 7 years from now when I receive this email that my husband will still be by my side. That we will be raising our children together and growing old together. I want our relationship to be solid, loving and fun. I want us to celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary this June together.

Not only have you aged but so has everyone else. Your husband is going to be 52 years old in May. And your twin daughters – wow they will be 8 years old in May. Just thinking about such a passage of time in connection with your loved ones brings tears to your eyes.

There are also the fur-kids to consider. Hopefully both are still with the family. Our furry friends just don’t live long enough. The cat will be 17 years old and the dog will be 11. I hope they are still with us. Just thinking of them passing is hard to imagine.

There are also my siblings and my parents. What changes have taken place in our family during this time frame. I know from experience how the unexpected can happen. I’ve already lost two brothers and a fiance in my past.

Are you still working at the same job? You had a good job back then with a great organization. I also know that you are capable of more. You have a lot of creative talents and you can write. I am hoping that you have moved in the direction of putting your creative talents to work and are making a living in that area. You have entered into the world of digital design recently. You love to play with images. Finding the right combination of writing and design would be perfect.

Here are some of my wishes for you in the future.

I hope that you have learned to be more relaxed. 
I hope that you are more accepting of yourself and your imperfections. 
I hope that you are comfortable with your body. 
I hope that you are having lots of fun in your life. 
I hope that you have a great relationship with your husband. 
I hope that you and your daughters are so very close and love spending time together. 
I hope that your daughters are happy, healthy and loving life. 
I hope that your parents are still alive and that you have a healthy and close relationship with them. 
I hope you are doing things you love professionally. 
I hope that you have a close circle of friends and that you still spend time with them. 
I hope you have found effective ways to take good care of you. 
I hope you have learned to express your needs to others. 
I hope your hair looks good -tee hee. 
I hope you are happy – most of the time.

dear-meI was surprised when I received the letter above.  It was nearly 7 years ago when I wrote it and my memory of doing so really didn’t come back until I was reading it.  It moved me to tears.  I loved seeing how my focus was on my relationships, my marriage, my children and my family.  

When I wrote the letter my daughters were just about to turn one years old.  They are now seven and will turn eight years old in May. My husband and I will be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary in June. 

I am still at the same job and just had my 10th anniversary at the end of March.  Yet I have made strides with my art and my writing.  Back in 2007 I hadn’t even heard of the Cosmic Cowgirls.  It wasn’t until October of 2008 that I attended the Bountiful Conference they put on in Healdsburg, California.  Being a part of this tribe has let to me writing Mojo Monday posts for nearly four years now.  That it turn led to my column in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine which launched in early 2011 and has been going strong for three years.  I have yet to make a living with my writing and art, and I don’t know if I will get there, but I will keep on doing what I love.

futureme

 

I am considering writing myself another letter with futureme.orgI think sending one to myself five years from now on my 50th birthday sounds about right.  When I contemplate what might go into such a letter I realize just how much can happen in five years.  I grow emotional considering my wishes and hopes for what my life will encompass when I am fifty years old.  There is something powerful in stating your hopes and intentions for your future self. 

Will you write yourself a letter?  Would you want to send it a year from now, five years, or maybe ten years or longer?

Share a little bit about what you are hoping and imagining for your future self in the comments.  

Story People Beautiful

Mojo Monday ~ Scheduling Joy and Growing Your Soul

Find Happiness NowIs your calendar full?  Do you wake up thinking about the things that have to get done?  Does your chore list seem a mile long?  In the midst of the laundry, taking the kids to softball practices, doing your time in the 8 to 5, feeding the pets and making meals, have you scheduled joy into your day? Jonathan Robinson, author of Finding Happiness Now: 50 Shortcuts for Bringing More Love, Balance and Joy Into Your Life has some ideas and recommendations for getting happier and one involves actually scheduling joy into your life just as you would a doctors appointment or a meeting at work.

What if you aren’t clear on what brings you joy?  Jonathan Robinson recommends writing out a Pain and Pleasure List (PPL).  The PPL is a list of at least 10 things that you enjoy doing and and a list of 10 things you don’t particularly care for.  He states the point is to clarify what really turns you on in life and what you do only because you have to  — or think you should.

As an example he shares a list that a client completed when given this assignment.  Here is the clients lists:

Ten Things I Don’t Like To Do

Go to work
Market myself or my products
Clean the house
Cook
Be around disagreeable people
Spend time with my parents
Taxes and paying the bills
Give my wife a massage
Go shopping for clothes or gifts
Argue with my wife

Ten Things I Love To Do

Ride my bike
Be by myself, reading a good book
Play with the dog
Eat good food
Travel
Get a massage
Spend time in nature
Make love with my wife
Drive & listen to music
Watch a good football game

more joy and laughterThe author then shared that after his client completed his list he asked him to estimate the number of hours every month he spent doing each activity.  Jonathan writes “When he finished this part of the exercise, it was brutally clear why he was depressed, stressed and messed-up with his wife.  The total number of hours on the ‘pain’ side of the list was a whopping 215 hours per month.  The total number of hours on the pleasure side of the list was a meager thirty-two hours a month.  That’s almost a seven-to-one ratio of pain to pleasure.  I’ve found that when the degree of pain compared to pleasure rises above a five-to-one ratio people dislike their life.  In order to feel good again, such people need to spend less time doing ‘painful’ activities and more time doing what they enjoy.”

The author then adds for his readers “The first key to changing your life and behaviors is to be aware of whats currently not working.  If after completing your own PPL, you see a similar pattern to James’ then you’ll now you’ve been denying yourself too much.  You need to put pleasurable activities at a greater level of importance in your life.”

Take some time right now to complete your own PPL List.  I’ll complete one too.

Ten Things I Love To Do

Read (extra bonus points if it is in a hot bath)
Be in nature and soak in the beauty
Take photos of things that make me happy
Laugh
Listen to music with positive lyrics
Play/do something fun with the family
Create (paint, draw, make collages)
Share juicy and uplifting conversations
Feel connected to others/nurture relationships
Eat/drink something delicious that also enhance my health & vitality
Ten Things I Don’t Like To Do

Clean the cat box
Be in a cluttered and messy living space
Cook after a long day at work
Have too much work to complete in a day
Deal with technical difficulties
Be overbooked
Fall behind on writing deadlines
Listen to complaining
Experience conflict or be around conflict
Take care of sick people

Add some of the things on your Things I Love To Do list to your calendar, be it techy style in Outlook or iCalendar or the old fashioned paper one hanging on your well.  How did it feel to add these onto your calendar?  Does becoming more conscious of making time for joy shift anything?

How about growing your soul while also making time for more joy?  Does the concept of growing your soul sound daunting, challenging or even painful?  I have some good news.  According to Kurt Vonnegut growing your soul can be both simple and fun.

Kurt Vonnegut quote

In 2006 Ms. Lockwood, an English teacher at Xavier High School, asked her students to write a letter to a famous author. She wanted them to discuss the author’s work and ask for advice.  Kurt Vonnegut (1922 – 2007) was the only one to write back.  He even signed off with a drawing.

Dear Xavier High School, and Ms. Lockwood, and Messrs Perin, McFeely, Batten, Maurer and Congiusta:

I thank you for your friendly letters. You sure know how to cheer up a really old geezer (84) in his sunset years. I don’t make public appearances any more because I now resemble nothing so much as an iguana.

What I had to say to you, moreover, would not take long, to wit: Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow.

Seriously! I mean starting right now, do art and do it for the rest of your lives. Draw a funny or nice picture of Ms. Lockwood, and give it to her. Dance home after school, and sing in the shower and on and on. Make a face in your mashed potatoes. Pretend you’re Count Dracula.

Here’s an assignment for tonight, and I hope Ms. Lockwood will flunk you if you don’t do it: Write a six line poem, about anything, but rhymed. No fair tennis without a net. Make it as good as you possibly can. But don’t tell anybody what you’re doing. Don’t show it or recite it to anybody, not even your girlfriend or parents or whatever, or Ms. Lockwood. OK?

Tear it up into teeny-weeny pieces, and discard them into widely separated trash recepticals. You will find that you have already been gloriously rewarded for your poem. You have experienced becoming, learned a lot more about what’s inside you, and you have made your soul grow.

God bless you all!

Kurt Vonnegut

kurt-vonneguts-signature

Right now let’s do Kurt Vonnegut’s assignment and write a six line poem.  Keep it simple and easy and just see what flows out.

Did you learn anything new about yourself after completing your poem?  Was there a message from your soul?

Mojo Monday ~ What Do You Want to Feel?

what do you want to feel

“When you lean into your desires, you liberate your power – and your joy.”
Danielle LaPorte

I have been contemplating the question “What makes me happy?” for a few weeks now.  I have a Mojo Monday writing partner though her articles only appear on the Cosmic Cowgirl member sites, where my Mojo Monday musings also get posted.  Trish O’Malley has been brilliantly covering the topic of happiness for a couple of weeks now.  What I shared after her last post was the following:

“I read the intro to Danielle LaPorte’s book called The Desire Map on Amazon for the first time a week or so ago. It really stuck with me when she shares how she and her former husband were making lists about things they wanted in their lives.  And how it was a great aha moment when they suddenly realized that it wasn’t so much the things, but the feelings they were hoping to attain.  She shared how that shifted their list.”
Desire Map
Danielle then goes onto list the words that flowed forth and the ensuing conversation:
 
Freedom!
Abundance.
Sexy.
Earth. Nature. Eco-love.
Connected.
Creative.
Temple.
True love.
Desire Map 2
 
The posts on happiness by Trish and checking out the contents of the book The Desire Map was timely for me.  My home life is good.  My hubby and I are in a really good place with one another.  My twin daughters are almost eight years old and are such a total joy.  They are fun and blossoming in so many ways.  I love coming home to them and spending time together as a family.
 
Where I am struggling is in my professional life.  At the end of March my 10 year anniversary with the agency I work for will come to pass.  10 years.  It kind of blows my mind that I have been doing this job for 10 years.  I still hold such deep gratitude for all I have learned and how my life has been enriched doing work that makes a positive difference in the world.  My peers for the most part are all social workers who have masters degrees or who have gone onto get licensed.  It has been a beautiful fit for me because I do have the soul and spirit of a social worker.  Recently when I took one of those Facebook quizzes about which career would be best for me the answer was Humanitarian, and it listed social worker for a career.  (You can find the quiz here if you would like to take it too.)
 
While I may have the soul of a social worker I don’t have a social worker degree, though I wish I would have been better informed about my options in college.  Instead I have a degree in History, another in French, along with a minor in English and certificates in editing and publishing.  My creativity, organizational strengths and technology skills have served me well in administrative and office manager jobs in printing, education and then social services.
 
For a number of months I truly have been making myself miserable and sad with my own thoughts about success/lack of success and so on.  I have had this storyline stuck in a loop-feed in my head about my being 44 years old and only making “X” amount of money.  This partly surprises me because I have never been about the money.  However, I know that tied up in this is feeling like I have hit the ceiling in my current position.  Not to mention that I have also been in limbo for many months in regards to where a writing project might be leading.  Waiting, when it could likely end with rejection, has been stressful.  (Note to self ~ I really need to work on more letting go and anxiety/stress-relieving techniques. Perhaps re-read my own post about anxiety that can be found here.)  
 
In exploring the topic of what do I want, I am now asking the more important questions regarding what makes me happy and what do I want to feel.  I have been setting my sights on getting clearer on what makes me sad/angry/frustrated/stressed, and then even more importantly what makes me feel happy and inspired. I think starting there will be a key ingredient to choosing and creating more happiness.  I believe those answers can help me make some decisions about the future of my writing and art, my creative dreams/goals and my professional aspirations.  
Desire Map 3
 How do you want to feel in your life?
What makes you happy?
What makes you feel inspired?
Does writing a list and getting clear
on those answers shift things for you?
happiness
Want to do some explorations of the soul? Consider joining a course with Jenafer Owen that begins March 3rd called A Very Daring Tail.

Manifesting In A Wonderland

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Today in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine
is my latest article called
Manifesting In A Wonderland

My enthusiasm for bright new ideas and plans for the future has been lagging lately.  This didn’t bode well as I began to try and figure out what I would write about the topic of Manifestation.  In light of my floundering I found myself googling “What if you don’t know what you want to manifest?” except that I somehow typed it wrong and wrote “What if you don’t know what you have to manifest?” The change from want to to have to gave the question a whole new energy. I laughed a little and looked up and asked the Universe, “What is it that I have to manifest?”

wonderland image as seen on essencejoyclairvoyance.com