Mojo Monday ~ Forgiveness

Michelle Fairchild

The dictionary defines forgiveness as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. 
Author Don Miguel Ruiz wrote The Four Agreements, The Fifth Agreement, The Mastery of Love and The Voice of Knowledge.  One of Don Miguel Ruiz’s thoughts on forgiveness is featured in the image above.  The art and writing is from one of the cards from his Mastery of Love deck.  One of his other quotes about forgiveness is as follows: 

The supreme act of forgiveness is when
you can forgive yourself for 

all the wounds you’ve created in your own life.
Forgiveness is an act of self-love.
When you forgive yourself, 
self-acceptance begins and self-love grows. 

Ruiz was even recognized by an organization called The Worldwide Forgiveness Alliance.  Many of his training courses incorporate the act of forgiveness as one of the tools that teach people how to overcome their destructive behaviors and move to higher, more effective levels of consciousness.  

You can learn more about the inspiring Worldwide Forgiveness Alliance and their brilliant mission by visiting this web site:  http://www.forgivenessalliance.org/aboutus.html

Ann Frank is another individual who exhibited an amazing ability to forgive and perhaps see a bigger picture.  This excerpt from her diary is especially inspiring:

    It’s a wonder I haven’t abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart. It’s utterly impossible for me to build my life on a foundation of chaos, suffering and death. I see the world being slowly transformed into a wilderness, I hear the approaching thunder that, one day, will destroy us too, I feel the suffering of millions. And yet, when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that everything will change for the better, that this cruelty too shall end, that peace and tranquility will return once more. 

Another organization that is doing amazing work regarding forgiveness is The Forgiveness Project.  Founder Marina Cantacuzino shares that “Forgiveness is an inspiring, complex, exasperating subject, which provokes strong feeling in just about everyone. Having spent all of 2003 collecting stories of reconciliation and forgiveness for an exhibition of words and images which I created with the photographer, Brian Moody, I began to see that for many people forgiveness is no soft option, but  rather the ultimate revenge. For many it is a liberating route out of victimhood; a choice, a process, the final victory over those who have done you harm. As Mariane Pearl, the wife of murdered journalist Daniel Pearl, said of her husband’s killers, ‘The only way to oppose them is by demonstrating the strength that they think they have taken from you.'”

The exhibition tells some extraordinary stories – stories of victims who have become friends with perpetrators, murderers who have turned their mind to peace building.  I read in awe the story about Linda and Peter Biehl and how they found it within their hearts to forgive and befriend the young men who murdered their daughter Amy, an American Fulbright scholar working in South Africa against apartheid.  They started a foundation in their daughter’s name and two of the young men even went to work for the foundation.  Linda shares how she came to “believe passionately in restorative justice. It’s what Desmond Tutu calls ‘ubuntu’: to choose to forgive rather than demand retribution, a belief that “my humanity is inextricably caught up in yours.”

Within our lifetimes we will all need to ask for forgiveness or find it within ourselves to forgive another.  Sometimes you forgive people simply because you still want them in your life.
 
Consider creating an art piece about forgiveness and what it means to you.   
Here is a beautiful rendition I found on-line by a woman named Ramona.  She combined a Scrap Therapy Layout on Self-forgiveness with a Hopes for the New Year Layout and created a beautiful journaling art piece.  Here is the journaling excerpt from the image: 
For this new year, I would like to be free.   Free from feeling bad or obsessing about when the next time the blackness will come.  Free from feeling like I am never good enough. Not smart enough, thin enough, nice enough, whatever enough. I would like to be free from feeling like a bad mother when I am simply too tired to cook, or clean, or check homework.   I want to honor the light within me that longs to shine brightly.  For the whole world to see that I am good enough.  Simply because I am me.  To do this, I need to begin to practice forgiveness, and change my internal dialogue.  To a dialogue of love, light truth and peace.
What are your thoughts about forgiveness?
Do you have any stories of forgiveness to share?  
If you create an art piece or write a poem about forgiveness please share it.
To the right is a simple art piece I did for forgiveness.

Looking for more inspiration regarding forgiveness?  Here is a video on the subject.


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Mojo Monday ~ All I Really Need to Know I Learned In Kindergarten

Michelle Fairchild

My twin daughters started Kindergarten this morning. Such a milestone for us all that they are starting school.  Various emotions fill my heart and complicated thoughts fill my mind.  I am excited for them, as well as a little scared and sad.  They are entering a more public world.  Our well protected daughters will be going on field trips without us sometimes.  They have moved beyond their small homey daycare to a more demanding and sometimes challenging endeavor of learning more and expanding their social circle.  They are ready in so many ways, but I also sense that there will some difficulties to be faced.  That is the way of life. 

It seemed fitting to share a wonderful piece written by Robert Fulghum called All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. What we are taught as children applies to our adult lives.  Fulgham pulled it all together quite nicely for us as a wise reminder.

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten
(a guide for Global Leadership)

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.

These are the things I learned:

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don’t hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.

Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die. So do we.


And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all – LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all – the whole world – had cookies and milk at about 3 o’clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

You can visit Robert Fulgham’s web site at http://www.robertfulghum.com/

Mojo Monday ~ When I Loved Myself Enough

Michelle Fairchild
 When I Loved Myself Enough began as one woman’s gift to the world, hand made by Kim McMillen and given to her friends.  As word spread, its heartfelt honesty won it a growing following.

The introduction to When I Loved Myself Enough by Kim McMillen begins this way:

For many years I lived with a guarded heart.  I did not know how to extend love and compassion to myself.  In my fortieth year that began changing.

In April of 2009 I had turned forty.  There were events going on in my life at that particular time that were very difficult.  In May, just weeks after my birthday, I won this book from a web site called Intrinsic. It was mailed to me all the way from Australia, yet in some ways it seemed more like a gift from the Universe, as it contained a message I so desperately needed to hear. 


The author’s introduction continues:
As I grew to love all of who I am, life started changing in beautiful and mysterious ways.  My heart softened and I began to see through very different eyes.  

My commitment to follow this calling grew strong and in the process a divine intelligence came to guide my life.  I believe this ever-present resource is grace, and is available to us all.

For the past twelve years I have been learning to recognize and accept this gift.  Cultivating love and compassion for myself made it possible.

The following steps are uniquely mine.  Yours will look different.  But I do hope mine give voice to a hunger you may share.

I ended up gifting this book to about fifteen women the summer of 2009.  I wanted to share the profoundly simple message it contained within with both friends and family.  

And so it begins…

When I loved myself enough
I quit settling for too little.

And so it continues…

When I loved myself enough
I came to know my own goodness.

When I loved myself enough
I began taking the gift of life seriously and gratefully.

When I loved myself enough
I began to know I was in the right place at the right time and I could relax.

When I loved myself enough
I felt compelled to slow down – way down.  And that has made all the difference.

When I loved myself enough

I bought a feather bed.

When I loved myself enough
I came to love being alone, surrounded by silence, awed by its spell, listening to inner space.

When I loved myself enough
I came to see I am not special but I am unique.

When I loved myself enough
I redefined success and life became simple.  Oh, the pleasure of that.

When I loved myself enough
I came to know I am worthy of knowing God directly.
When I loved myself enough
I gave up the belief that life is hard.

When I loved myself enough
I came to see emotional pain is a signal I am operating outside truth.

When I loved myself enough
I learned to meet my own needs and not call it selfish.

When I loved myself enough
The parts of me long-ignored, the orphans of my soul, quit vying for attention.  That was the beginning of inner peace.  Then I began seeing clearly.

When I loved myself enough 
I quit ignoring or tolerating my pain.

When I loved myself enough
I started feeling all my feelings, not analyzing them — really feeling them.  When I do, something amazing happens.  Try it.  You will see.

When I loved myself enough
My hear became so tender it could welcome joy and sorrow equally.

When I loved myself enough 
I came to feel like a gift to the world and I collected beautiful ribbons and bows.  They still hang on my wall to remind me.
Self Love by Rhonda Gray

When I loved myself enough

I learned to ask ‘Who in me is feeling this way?’ when I feel anxious, angry, restless or sad.  If I listen patiently I discover who needs my love.

When I loved myself enough
I no longer needed things or people to make me feel safe.

When I loved myself enough
I quite wishing my life looked some other way and began to see that as it is, my life serves my evolution.

When I loved myself enough

I began to feel a divine presence in me and hear its guidance.  I am learning to trust this and live from it.

 When I loved myself enough

I quit exhausting myself by trying so hard.

When I loved myself enough 
I began to feel a community within.  This inner team with diverse talents and idiosyncrasies is my strength and my potential.  We hold team meetings.

When I loved myself enough
I began walking and taking the stairs every chance I got, and choosing the scenic route.

When I loved myself enough
I became my own authority by listening to the wisdom of my heart.  This is how God speaks to me.  This is intuition.

When I loved myself enough
I began feeling such relief.

When I loved myself enough
The impulsive part of me learned to wait for the right time.  Then I became clear and unafraid.

When I loved myself enough
I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy.  This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits — anything that kept me small.  My judgement called it disloyal.  Now I see it as self-loving.

When I loved myself enough
I gave up perfectionism – that killer of joy.

When I loved myself enough
Forgiving others became irrelevant.
When I loved myself enough 
I started writing about my life and views because I knew this was my right and my responsibility.

When I loved myself enough
I began to see my purpose and gently wean myself from distractions.

When I loved myself enough
I learned to say no when I want to and yes when I want to.

When I loved myself enough
I could see how funny life is, how funny I am and how funny you are.

I recognized my courage and fear, my naivety and wisdom, and I make a place for each at my table.

When I loved myself enough
I started treating myself to a massage at least once a month.

When I loved myself enough
I realized I am never alone.

When I loved myself enough
I stopped fearing empty time and quit making plans.  Now I do what feels right and am in step with my own rhythms.  Delicious!

When I loved myself enough
I quit trying to be a savior for others.

When I loved myself enough
I lost my fear of speaking my truth for I have come to see how good it is.

When I loved myself enough 
I began pouring my feeling into my journals.  These loving companions speak my language.  No translation needed.

When I loved myself enough
I stopped seeking ‘experts’ and started living my life.

When I loved myself enough

I could be at ease with the comings and goings of judgment and despair.

When I loved myself enough
I quit having to be right which makes being wrong meaningless.

When I loved myself enough 
I learned to grieve for the hurts in life when they happen instead of making my heart heavy from lugging them around.

When I loved myself enough
I forgave myself for all the times I thought I wasn’t good enough.

When I loved myself enough
I began listening to the wisdom of my body.  It speaks so clearly through its fatigue, sensitivities, aversions and hungers.

When I loved myself
I quit fearing my fear.

When I loved myself enough 
I quit rehashing the past and worrying about the future which keeps me in the present where aliveness lives.

When I loved myself enough
I began to taste freedom.


And so it ends…
When I loved myself enough
I found my voice and wrote this little book.


Expressions of Self Love by Rita Loyd

I have included much of the book in this post, but not all.  There are more nuggets of wisdom in the book that you may wish to explore on your own.

Do you find yourself connecting with some of the author’s statements?  Which ones?

Try writing some of your own declarations by starting with When I loved myself enough…

The author shares at the very end when she loved herself enough she found her voice and wrote this little book. What would you do if you loved yourself enough?


If you were going to write a book what would you call it?



A message from the author’s daughter Alison McMillen ~ January 2001:


My mother died in September of 1996, at he age of 52, only a few short months after writing this book.  She was not ill and did not know that she was going to die.  Her death was sudden and it deeply shocked everyone who knew her.  It has been very difficult for me, as well as her friends and family, to cope with life without her.  She died too young, and I am aware of her absence every waking moment.

One thing that has made grieving for her more tolerable has been this book.  Following her lead, I continued to publish it out of my home.  It has been extremely rewarding work.  I have received countless letters and phone calls from people all over the world who have been touched by the wisdom of my mom’s words.  They tell me that they feel as though, through the book, they have come to know Kim McMillen.  I could not agree more.

This book is my mother.  It’s message is what she spent years meditating on, reading and writing about, and experiencing.  It is everything she believed in, and everything she brought me up to believe in.  It is her autobiography, her declaration, her soul.

Even though she didn’t know she was nearing the end of her life, she knew on some level that she had to express the things that she had learned to be true.  After many years filled with self-doubt and self-criticism, she decided to devote herself to finding self-compassion.  When she did, and was able to write her findings down for others to read, her life was complete, and sadly came to an end.  

I have a constant ache in my heart, a longing to see her again in this world.  She was an amazing mother, friend, writer, business consultant, chaplain, river runner, dog lover, neighbor and woman.  Although I miss her terribly, I am comforted by the knowledge that, as this book is the truest expression of who my mom was, in its continued existence what she had to offer to the world will live on.

Mojo Monday ~ Children’s Books Aren’t Just for Children

Michelle Fairchild
Anita Silvey has worked in the field of publishing children’s books for over 40 years and is an author of several books of her own including Everything I Need to Know I Learned From a Children’s Book: Life Lessons from Notable People from All Walks of Life. 

Anita once wrote that early in her career, she started asking anyone she met (at cocktail parties, dinners, even in cabs and elevators) about the books they read as a child. A universal ice breaker, this question often elicited smiles and fond memories.

However, for her book Everything I Need to Know I Learned From a Children’s Book she talked to people that she would not ordinarily meet — about 110 leaders of society in a variety of fields such as science, arts, politics, sports, or journalism. To them she posed a more serious question: “What children’s book changed your life in a profound way?” As she conducted interviews with Pete Seeger, Andrew Wyeth, Steve Forbes, Julainne Moore, Peter Lynch and Kirk Douglas, she realized that she possessed far too little faith in the power of children’s books.

Silvey shared that what these icons read as children shaped them as adults – in amazing ways. Some recalled a character with fondness; some became attracted to a location or country because of a book. Some have remembered a single line from a book for decades. Many chose careers because of a children’s book. Many found a personal, social, or political philosophy that has sustained them for decades.

 
I don’t remember learning to read as a child.  My memories are such that it seems I just always knew.  There is a chance that I was a lover of books even in the womb.  We always had books at home and I still have some of my books from childhood which I now read to my own daughters.  One of my favorite childhood authors was Dr. Seuss.  Before my daughters were born I came across the mother-lode of Dr. Seuss called Your Favorite Seuss: A baker’s dozen by the one and only Dr. Seuss.  We started reading to our girls very early, in fact here is one of my all-time favorite photos taken of my husband while he was reading to our infant daughters from the over-sized Dr. Seuss book.

My daughter’s collection of books is growing though they also love to make trips to the library to pick out some books to check out.  I still love children’s books.  I love both words and art and children’s books pair the two so beautifully.  I think it would be wonderful if more adult books includes art too.

Do you have any favorite books from childhood? 

Do you still read children’s books?   (If you don’t I highly recommend it)

If Anita Silvey had featured you in her book how would you have answered the question “What children’s book changed your life in a profound way?”

Just a few books you might enjoy:

Mama Says: A Book of Love for Mothers by author Rob D. Walker and award-winning illustrators Leon & Diane Dillon celebrates the universal love between mothers and sons in rhymes from around the world. Timeless virtues such as honesty, courage, and a caring heart are extolled in simple, rhythmic verse that rocks and soothes in lullaby tones:

Mama says be loving

Mama says be caring

Mama says you’ve done God’s will

Every time you’re sharing.

Each rhyme is depicted in the script of its original language with the English translation mirrored alongside. Cherokee, Russian, Amharic, Japanese, Hindi, Inuktitut, Hebrew, English, Korean, Arabic, Quechua, Danish. The beautiful illustrations evoke eloquently the relationship between the mother of each nation and her young son. The words give voice to the spirit of each country and the corresponding costumes and scenery are rendered masterfully in naturalistic artwork that is splendidly evocative of culture and place. On the final page is a fabulous two-page group portrait of the boys now grown to manhood:

I listened to what Mama said

And now I am a man.

All the Colors of the Earth written and illustrated by Sheila Hamanaka tells a story of how:

Children come in all colors of the earth

The roaring browns of bears and soaring eagles,

The whispering golds of late summer grasses,

And crackling russets of fallen leaves,

The tinkling pinks of tiny seashells by the rumbling sea.

Children come with hair like bouncy baby lambs,

Or hair that flows like water,

Or hair that curls like sleeping cats in snoozy cat colors.

Children come in all the colors of love

In endless shades of you and me.

For love comes in cinnamon, walnut, and wheat,

Love is amber and ivory and ginger and sweet

Like caramel and chocolate, and the honey of bees.

Dark as leopard spots, light as sand,

Children buzz with laughter that kisses our land,

With sunlight like butterflies happy and free,

Children come in all the colors of the earth and sky and sea.

 On the Night You Were Born written and illustrated by Nancy Tillman has touched the hearts of readers of all ages

On the night you were born,
the moon smiled with such wonder
that the stars peeked in to see you
and the night wind whispered.
“Life will never be the same.”

On the night you were born, the whole world came alive with thanksgiving. The moon stayed up till morning. The geese flew home to celebrate. Polar bears danced. On the night you were born you brought wonder and magic to the world. Here is a book that celebrates you. It is meant to be carried wherever life takes you, over all the roads, through all the years. 

In the book Giraffe’s Can’t Dance by author Giles Andraea and illustrator Guy Parker-Rees, the lead character, Gerald the giraffe, doesn’t really have delusions of grandeur. He just wants to dance. But his knees are crooked and his legs are thin, and all the other animals mock him when he approaches the dance floor at the annual Jungle Dance. “Hey, look at clumsy Gerald,” they sneer. “Oh, Gerald, you’re so weird.” Poor Gerald slinks away as the chimps cha-cha, rhinos rock ‘n’ roll, and warthogs waltz. But an encouraging word from an unlikely source shows this glum giraffe that those who are different “just need a different song,” and soon he is prancing and sashaying and boogying to moon music with a cricket accompanist.

Here is also a fun reading of Giraffes Can’t Dance for your enjoyment! 
If the video embedded below won’t play for you here is a link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvDP1Aat6Ic&feature=mfu_in_order…

Mojo Monday ~ Belonging

Michelle Fairchild
This weekend I found myself contemplating belonging.  The subject came about from a personal experience where I felt completely out of place and also from a post made by a friend on Facebook about seeking the approval of others.

Wikipedia describes “Belongingness” in this way.  “It is the human emotional need to be an accepted member of a group. Whether it is family, friends, co-workers, or a sports team, humans have an inherent desire to belong and be an important part of something greater than themselves. The motive to belong is the need for ‘strong, stable relationships with other people.’ This implies a relationship that is greater than simple acquaintance or familiarity. The need to belong is the need to give and receive affection from others.”

The picture above makes me reflect on my own childhood and my trying to fit in with my sibling group.  There is even a photo of my five siblings posing together in their chorus outfits and I am running into the photo from the right because I want to be with them.  My older five siblings were all very close in age.  I wanted to fit in with the pack, but in some ways I never really could as a child.  My desire and need to fit in created a people-pleasing tendency that I carried into adulthood, as well as heightened my skills in asimilating into various groups of people.  This can be helpful at times and I did find myself with an eclectic group of friends throughout my twenties and most of my thirties.  It can become unhealthy though if you find yourself suppressing parts of yourself or your honest preferences and views in order to fit in with a group.  Truth be told if you speak up and share an unpopular opinion or if your lifestyle becomes incongruent within a group you can find yourself on the outside rather quickly.
The television show Glee continually takes on the subject matter of groups and belonging.  The show has taken to the extreme the various groups that exist in a high school setting, the jocks who throw the geeky kids in dumpsters and who also throw slushies in the geeky kids faces.  There are the cool cheerleaders, also know as the “cheerios” on this show, who also take part in putting down other kids. 

The Glee Club offers a place for those who have felt like misfits to finally belong.  Yet to fit in with this group you better be able to sing and dance.  Check out the video clip from Glee below.

Wikipedia goes on to explain how Psychologist Abraham Maslow suggested that the need to belong was a major source of human motivation. He thought that it was one of five basic needs, along with physiological, safety, self-esteem, and self-actualization. These needs are arranged on a hierarchy and must be satisfied in order. After physiological and safety needs are met an individual can then work on meeting the need to belong and be loved. If the first two needs are not met, then an individual cannot completely love someone else.

“Other theories have also focused on the need to belong as a fundamental psychological motivation. According to one contemporary viewpoint, all human beings need a certain minimum quantity of regular, satisfying, social interactions. Inability to meet this need results in loneliness, mental distress, and a strong desire to form new relationships.
One reason for the need to belong is based on the theory of evolution. In the past, belonging to a group was essential to survival. People hunted and cooked in groups. Belonging to a group allowed tribe members to share the workload and protect each other. Not only were they trying to insure their own survival, but all members of their tribe were invested in each other’s outcomes because each member played an important role in the group. More recently in Western society, this is not necessarily the case. Most people no longer belong to tribes, but they still protect those in their groups and still have a desire to belong in groups.”

“In order to be accepted within a group, individuals may convey or conceal certain parts of their personalities to those whom they are trying to impress. This is known as self-presentation. Certain aspects of one’s personality may not be seen as desirable or essential to the group, so people will try to convey what they interpret as valuable to the group. For example, in a business setting, people may not show their humorous side but they will try to show their professional side in an attempt to impress those present.”

“Individuals join groups with which they have commonalities, whether it is sense of humor, style in clothing, socioeconomic status, or career goals. In general, individuals seek out those who are most similar to them. People like to feel that they can relate to someone and those who are similar to them give them that feeling. People also like those that they think they can understand and who they think can understand them.”
There are even web pages devoted to showing photos of a group of people with one or two people who stand out because in appearance they don’t seem to belong, such as the image above. 
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you struggled to find things in common with the other people present?  If yes, how did it make you feel?
Have you ever had a friendship fade because your interests and views went in different directions?
Have you ever felt you didn’t belong?

The Gift of Tears

Michelle Fairchild

I am so thrilled to feature Libbie McIntosh in my column in the Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine. She is an inspiring woman who teaches us all that we can make a difference. Just click the link to read the article that details her experience as a volunteer in Cambodia and beyond.  Please click here to go to the article.

Mojo Monday ~ Art to Make You Swoon

Michelle Fairchild
Tree of Life Mosaic by Laurie Mika
 
Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time. ~ Thomas Merton

I love stumbling upon “new-to-me” artists whose work calls to me seductively or whose creations seize me by the shoulders and I want to fall to my knees with the word “WOW” echoing again and again from my parting lips.  When I walked into Shiloh Sophia McCloud’s Wisdom House gallery in the summer of 2008, while I didn’t drop to my knees, I was drawn to the gallery like a bee to honey and the only word that came out of my mouth for a couple of minutes was indeed “WOW!”
I was in Aaron Brothers perusing canvases in order to take advantage of the buy one get one for a penny deal and I was rather in the mood to turn my little shopping expedition into an artist date, so I stopped by the book section to take a look.  I came across a book that blew my mind.  It is called Mixed Media Mosaics by Laurie Mika.  I was entranced.  I restrained myself from buying the $22.00 book, but I did take some photos of it and then immediately googled the artist on my iPhone to be sure she had a web site and also ensure that I could spend a lot more time in the near future gawking at her astounding creations.  
Guardian Angel by Laurie Mika
Page from Laurie Mika’s book
Page from Laurie Mika’s book
Another artist who leaves me marveling is Krista Lynn Brown.  Krista and I became Facebook friends before I really knew about her amazing art.  She is another one of my favorites now and I love it when she shares what she is currently working on on her Facebook page. 
Krista’s art show display at the Oregon Country Fair
MOON MAGIC
Night Blossom Medicine
A NEW STORY
Cracking Open the Imagination


The last artist I would like to introduce is Kelly Rae Roberts.  I love how Kelly combines her art with inspirational words.  As an art and word person I simply love bringing the two together. She also has a book available that isn’t just about art.  She really pours her heart and soul into the book and provides a lot of personal inspiration to her readers.

Are there any particular artists that make you swoon?

Do you have any images or website links to share?
Is there a certain style that draws you in?
What connection do you feel to the art you admire?

Mojo Monday ~ Body Talk

Michelle Fairchild
woman 11 from When de Body Talk Collection by fine artist Son of the Moon

“Harsh judgments about body acceptability create a nation of hunched-over tall girls,
short women on stilts, women of size dressed as though in mourning,
very slender women trying to puff themselves out like adders, and various other women in hiding. 
Destroying a woman’s instinctive affiliation with her natural body cheats her of confidence. 
It causes her to perseverate about whether she is a good person or not, and bases her self-worth
on how she looks instead of who she is.  It pressures her to use up her energy worrying
about how much food she consumes or the readings on the scale and tape measure. 
It keeps her preoccupied , colors everything she does, plans, and anticipates. 
It is unthinkable in the instinctive world that a woman should live preoccupied by appearance this way.”

~ From Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD

When I read the book The Diary of Anne Frank as a 13 year old girl, it didn’t matter that I wasn’t Jewish and living in Nazi occupied Amsterdam in the Netherlands, I could still relate to that girl of a different era and her true story captivated me.  When I read the memoir Warriors Don’t Cry by Melba Patillo Beales, which told her story of being one of the nine black students who participated in the integration of Little Rock Central High School in 1957, for a time I too was immersed in the unbelievable and horrible racism that those students experienced.

So when I watched a trailer for an upcoming documentary called Dark Girls my heart was breaking for the women who shared their painful stories.  The tears flowed when a young child was asked to identify from a cartoon drawing of children the smart, stupid, pretty and ugly child and all of her answers were based on the color of the child.  I personally wanted to take that young girl in my arms and tell her that she is amazing, smart, beautiful and also so much more than just her physical being. 

Here is the trailer for the film Dark Girls:
(http://vimeo.com/24155797)


Dark Girls: Preview from Bradinn French on Vimeo.


I have never understood racism or how anyone can treat another person as if they are less than because of their appearance, their ethnicity or their nationality.  In college one of my majors was history and my areas of concentration were African American History, Latin American History and Native American History.  Some of the research and reading I did for my classes and for papers I wrote was sad and disturbing.  There were articles and books written years ago, as if they were from real research and scientific studies, that set out to prove the superiority of the white race.  Someone walking by in the library would have heard me gagging.
One would think things like this would be archaic and yet just this year a reputable publication called Psychology Today used very poor taste, judgment and what all to give the time of day to a “researcher” who wrote an article entitled “Why Are Black Women Less Physically Attractive Than Other Women.”   Psychology Today removed the on-line link after the thousands of letters and comments poured in, but that they allowed this schmuck to have a forum to share this garbage in the first place is disturbing. 
A writer named Denene Miller, creator of a blog called My Brown Baby saw the aforementioned article and had a few things to say in response in her own article called The Attack Against Black Girl Beauty.  Here is an excerpt as well as a link if you would like to read the entire piece. http://mybrownbaby.com/2011/05/the-attack-against-black-girl-beauty/
“And like any mother who tucks her new baby girl into her first lovely dress, I looked at Mari’s face and stared into her eyes and pulled her chubby little cheeks to mine and marveled at how striking she was.
And every morning, still, I do the same with both my girls. Some days, they’ll just be talking to me about nothing in particular and I’ll look up and catch a glimpse of Lila’s big ol’ almond eyes and that Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate-colored skin of hers, or Mari’s perfect apple face and that ancient Egyptian nose, looking like it was carved to match the Sphinx, and it literally takes my breath away.
They are, simply, beautiful girls.
I tell them this often.
Not just because I believe it to the core, but because the world conspires to tell my babies different—to ingrain in their brains that something is wrong with their kinky hair and their juicy lips and their dark skin and their piercing brown eyes and their bubble butts and thick thighs and black girl goodness. I promise you, it feels like I’m guarding them from a tsunami of “you’re ugly” pronouncements; magazines and TV shows and popular radio and movies and all of the rest of pop culture insist on squeezing all of us women into a ridiculously Eurocentric, blonde-haired, light-eyed standard of beauty, but good God, unless you’re parenting a little black girl, you have absolutely no earthly idea how exhausting it is to be media whipped for not being a white girl…
But I am trying desperately to save my little girls. From the magazine editors who refuse to put brown-skinned girls on their covers and in their pages. From the TV show producers who shovel shows on Disney and Nickelodeon without a care in the world that my brown babies go, literally, for hours without seeing one character who looks like them. From the music and movie industries, which, even when brown girls are involved, puts greater stock in light skin and long, flowing weaves. From the book industry, which seems like it’ll suck blood from a stone before it backs books featuring black children like it does books featuring white ones.
And I’m trying to save my girls from celebrities and singers and pro ballers and anyone else who has a microphone and especially researchers who will, by any means necessary, tell them that their brown skin and thick lips and pudgy noses and kinky hair make them ugly and manly and unattractive and undesireable.
But you know what? That’s a whole lot of fighting. A whole lot of guarding. A whole lot of explaining. A whole lot of counterbalancing.
And on days like these, I get tired, y’all.
And wish that we—me and my beautiful black girls—could just… be.”
It is hearing such things that brings me full circle back to the quote Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD
“Destroying a woman’s instinctive affiliation with her natural body cheats her of confidence.  It causes her to perseverate about whether she is a good person or not, and bases her self-worth on how she looks instead of who she is.  It keeps her preoccupied , colors everything she does, plans, and anticipates.  It is unthinkable in the instinctive world that a woman should live preoccupied by appearance this way.” 
What do you think we can do to change such harsh judgments about people’s physical appearances?  Do you even think it is possible?
What was your response to the Dark Girls trailer?
Do you think that women are overly concerned with appearances?

If yes, do you think that these preoccupations take away from time that could be better spent creating, inventing, painting, writing, dancing, adventuring, living and loving?
Here are some eye-popping facts and figures that demonstrate how deeply women desire to meet some ideal standard of beauty.  Don’t miss the fact that out of the 10.7 million cosmetic procedures being performed 90% are for women. 





·        Since 1997 there as been a 465% increase in the total number of cosmetic procedures.
·        Women had nearly 10.7 million cosmetic procedures, ninety percent of the total.
·        The top five surgical procedures for women were liposuction, breast augmentation, eyelid surgery, tummy tuck and facelift.  And yet an increase in breast augmentations has made it the most popular cosmetic surgery procedure since 2008.
·        Americans spent just under $12.5 billion on cosmetic procedures in 2004.
·        In 2010, Americans spent $845 million on facelifts.
·        Americans spent nearly $1.2 billion on breast augmentation in 2010, more than any other procedure. 
·        Americans spend more each year on beauty than we do on education.
·        A research survey found that the single largest group of high-school students considering or attempting suicide are girls who feel they are overweight.