Mojo Monday ~ Children’s Books Aren’t Just for Children

Anita Silvey has worked in the field of publishing children’s books for over 40 years and is an author of several books of her own including Everything I Need to Know I Learned From a Children’s Book: Life Lessons from Notable People from All Walks of Life. 

Anita once wrote that early in her career, she started asking anyone she met (at cocktail parties, dinners, even in cabs and elevators) about the books they read as a child. A universal ice breaker, this question often elicited smiles and fond memories.

However, for her book Everything I Need to Know I Learned From a Children’s Book she talked to people that she would not ordinarily meet — about 110 leaders of society in a variety of fields such as science, arts, politics, sports, or journalism. To them she posed a more serious question: “What children’s book changed your life in a profound way?” As she conducted interviews with Pete Seeger, Andrew Wyeth, Steve Forbes, Julainne Moore, Peter Lynch and Kirk Douglas, she realized that she possessed far too little faith in the power of children’s books.

Silvey shared that what these icons read as children shaped them as adults – in amazing ways. Some recalled a character with fondness; some became attracted to a location or country because of a book. Some have remembered a single line from a book for decades. Many chose careers because of a children’s book. Many found a personal, social, or political philosophy that has sustained them for decades.

I don’t remember learning to read as a child.  My memories are such that it seems I just always knew.  There is a chance that I was a lover of books even in the womb.  We always had books at home and I still have some of my books from childhood which I now read to my own daughters.  One of my favorite childhood authors was Dr. Seuss.  Before my daughters were born I came across the mother-lode of Dr. Seuss called Your Favorite Seuss: A baker’s dozen by the one and only Dr. Seuss.  We started reading to our girls very early, in fact here is one of my all-time favorite photos taken of my husband while he was reading to our infant daughters from the over-sized Dr. Seuss book.

My daughter’s collection of books is growing though they also love to make trips to the library to pick out some books to check out.  I still love children’s books.  I love both words and art and children’s books pair the two so beautifully.  I think it would be wonderful if more adult books includes art too.

Do you have any favorite books from childhood? 

Do you still read children’s books?   (If you don’t I highly recommend it)

If Anita Silvey had featured you in her book how would you have answered the question “What children’s book changed your life in a profound way?”

Just a few books you might enjoy:

Mama Says: A Book of Love for Mothers by author Rob D. Walker and award-winning illustrators Leon & Diane Dillon celebrates the universal love between mothers and sons in rhymes from around the world. Timeless virtues such as honesty, courage, and a caring heart are extolled in simple, rhythmic verse that rocks and soothes in lullaby tones:

Mama says be loving

Mama says be caring

Mama says you’ve done God’s will

Every time you’re sharing.

Each rhyme is depicted in the script of its original language with the English translation mirrored alongside. Cherokee, Russian, Amharic, Japanese, Hindi, Inuktitut, Hebrew, English, Korean, Arabic, Quechua, Danish. The beautiful illustrations evoke eloquently the relationship between the mother of each nation and her young son. The words give voice to the spirit of each country and the corresponding costumes and scenery are rendered masterfully in naturalistic artwork that is splendidly evocative of culture and place. On the final page is a fabulous two-page group portrait of the boys now grown to manhood:

I listened to what Mama said

And now I am a man.

All the Colors of the Earth written and illustrated by Sheila Hamanaka tells a story of how:

Children come in all colors of the earth

The roaring browns of bears and soaring eagles,

The whispering golds of late summer grasses,

And crackling russets of fallen leaves,

The tinkling pinks of tiny seashells by the rumbling sea.

Children come with hair like bouncy baby lambs,

Or hair that flows like water,

Or hair that curls like sleeping cats in snoozy cat colors.

Children come in all the colors of love

In endless shades of you and me.

For love comes in cinnamon, walnut, and wheat,

Love is amber and ivory and ginger and sweet

Like caramel and chocolate, and the honey of bees.

Dark as leopard spots, light as sand,

Children buzz with laughter that kisses our land,

With sunlight like butterflies happy and free,

Children come in all the colors of the earth and sky and sea.

 On the Night You Were Born written and illustrated by Nancy Tillman has touched the hearts of readers of all ages

On the night you were born,
the moon smiled with such wonder
that the stars peeked in to see you
and the night wind whispered.
“Life will never be the same.”

On the night you were born, the whole world came alive with thanksgiving. The moon stayed up till morning. The geese flew home to celebrate. Polar bears danced. On the night you were born you brought wonder and magic to the world. Here is a book that celebrates you. It is meant to be carried wherever life takes you, over all the roads, through all the years. 

In the book Giraffe’s Can’t Dance by author Giles Andraea and illustrator Guy Parker-Rees, the lead character, Gerald the giraffe, doesn’t really have delusions of grandeur. He just wants to dance. But his knees are crooked and his legs are thin, and all the other animals mock him when he approaches the dance floor at the annual Jungle Dance. “Hey, look at clumsy Gerald,” they sneer. “Oh, Gerald, you’re so weird.” Poor Gerald slinks away as the chimps cha-cha, rhinos rock ‘n’ roll, and warthogs waltz. But an encouraging word from an unlikely source shows this glum giraffe that those who are different “just need a different song,” and soon he is prancing and sashaying and boogying to moon music with a cricket accompanist.

Here is also a fun reading of Giraffes Can’t Dance for your enjoyment! 
If the video embedded below won’t play for you here is a link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvDP1Aat6Ic&feature=mfu_in_order…

When Parenting Does Not Come Easy


Self esteem doesn’t come from “being the best,”
it comes from valuing the best one can be.
~Beth Wilson Saavedra

No one ever really knows what it is like to be a parent until they become one. Parenting has not come easy to me. As a person who wondered how she would handle one child, having twins has at times felt overwhelming. There are great joys but I also experience great frustration at times. There was a period of time where I grew depressed and very down on myself. I judged myself harshly. I compared myself to others and always found myself lacking and inadequate.

There are inherent problems with comparing oneself to other parents and I found that Beth Wilson Saavedra captured this well in her book Meditations for New Mothers. She writes, “As mothers, we compare ourselves to other mothers. We try to model ourselves after the mothers we respect. When our lives don’t look like theirs, however, we feel like failures. We forget that we aren’t the same people, living in the same house, with the same bank account.

Our children, too, are different, and they challenge us in different ways. The circumstances of their births, the level of their needs, and the diversity of their personalities, all create unique scenarios that must be dealt with in a way that is fitting for them. We must ‘row with the oars we have.’ They’ll probably prevent the boar from going adrift. There are two sides to every oar.”

Eventually I began to take steps to work through the depression. One powerfully proactive effort was to see a therapist regularly for a year. Being a reader I also turned to books for help and advice. A search for a practice of some kind, spiritual or not, also called to me. I began exploring Buddhism and have been meeting weekly with a small group to read books on Buddhism and discuss them. The group I meet with also chants as part of their practice. I initially found this to be very uncomfortable and foreign. It took me more than eight months to finally give it a try. I learned I just needed to customize the chanting to fit my needs. I have now added to this morning chanting ritual by writing morning pages as Julia Cameron recommends in her book The Artist’s Way right after. Sifting through random thoughts first thing in the morning has proven to be beneficial.

While contemplating what has helped me to pull out of my depression and my struggles with judging myself as a parent, I also discovered there were six more things that are helping me a great deal.

1) Knowing that I am not alone with finding parenting to be challenging, difficult, frustrating and even infuriating.

2) Having someone to talk with who will not judge me for my negative thoughts about parenting.

I have one friend here in town who is more than 10 years older than me. She chose not to have children as she really didn’t think she had the temperament nor the patience for it. She is a great person for me to talk to at times about things I don’t like about being a parent, things that drive me crazy or really make me grieve “life before children” (and marriage too.) I also find that sharing stories with her about parenting sometimes turn those events into very humorous and hysterical accounts when spoken aloud. She will crack up and also tell me at times – “Thank you for reminding me that I made the right decision not to have kids.” I in turn get insight into her single life without children. At times her life sounds so wonderful and free and at times I am more grateful for having a partner and children.

3) Reading books or writings that express what I have felt and am feeling, because it normalizes it.

For example Sarah Napthali writes in her book Buddhism for Mothers of Young Children, “We have all had moments as mothers when we are struck by where we have suddenly found ourselves. We might smile as we marvel at the new world we now inhabit and how far away it seems from our old world. Sometimes, we miss our old world, we struggle to surrender our former freedoms, our youth and all those evening, weekends and holidays to ourselves. Sometimes we look in our mirrors, look at our messy living rooms or at the clock that reds three in the morning, and ask, ‘Where am I?'”

I also really like this one that is also from the book Meditations for New Mothers by Beth Wilson Saavedra, “No matter how much time we take to prepare, childbirth dramatically changes our lives overnight. It is only natural to long for ‘life before baby.’ We think of the freedom we had. We could read a book until we finished it, hop on a plane to Paris, or throw a lavish dinner party. Whether or not we actually did these things is irrelevant. It’s the feeling that we could have done them that causes us to grieve for our lost freedom. It’s normal to feel confined after life-with-baby begins. it doesn’t mean we don’t love our child. It doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy being a mother. I have given up some things to be a mom. But they are not gone from me forever.”

4) Learning to not beat myself up for negative thoughts about parenting.

They are just thoughts. I don’t need to give power to these thoughts. I don’t’ need to judge myself for having these thoughts. I can just have them, observe them and then move on.

5) Understand that I have needs that need to be honored and respected. I need quiet at times. I need alone time. I need time to read, write and create.

Sometimes I take time to fulfill these needs while the girls are still sleeping in the early morning or at night. Other times I let my husband know I need to take a little time for me. This has been a hard one for me because there is a tendency to feel guilty for taking time away from my daughters when I work full time and I am already away from them 8 hours or more every day during the week. Yet I have found it necessary for my emotional well being. This is why I have been getting better at taking time for me and scheduling dates with myself. For example, already I am so looking forward to the fact that I have Martin Luther King day off in a couple of weeks and that the daycare is open that day. My plan is for the girls to do to daycare so that I can have a day to paint, write, listen to music and not give one ounce of myself to chores or answering to someone else’s needs.

6) I try not to compare myself to others, because this usually leads to feeling inadequate and feeling dissatisfaction with myself.

The other night my husband shared a beautiful statement about being a father and what it means to him and how he feels like he was meant to be a dad. It was touching and I immediately suggested he write it down so that one day the girls could read it. My thoughts also started to go to a place of comparing myself to him, because I didn’t exactly feel the same way. I don’t feel as if I was “meant to be a mom.” More often I feel that I am limping along in this role. I know I am not a bad mom, yet there is that element in me that wishes I was a great mom. There are probably moments when I am indeed a great mom, but I certainly don’t feel that all the time. Hearing my husband speak of how he so loves his role started to make me feel “less than.” Yet then I pulled up the reins on spiraling into that thought pattern.

I am learning to accept that I am doing the best that I can. I love my daughters and I express that love and I do a lot with them and for them. I am trying to learn to be satisfied with who I am and understand that the role of mom is not going to fulfill me completely. I know that I need more. I need interactions with adults. I need to be writing and reading and sharing ideas and thoughts with other people. I need to be contributing to more than my immediate family. I am learning that this is a good thing. I am a key role model for my daughters. As they grow I would like them to also discover what brings them joy, what makes their heart sing, and what makes their spirit soar. If they see in their mom a woman who loves what she does, feels inspired, dares to follow her dreams and live a life of fulfilling a vision and mission, then they can grow up with a greater sense of what is possible for themselves in their future.

Suggested Readings ~ If You Want to Write by Brenda Ueland (published in 1938)

“Like many of the most talented and funniest people, she is too nice and unconceited to work from mere ambition, or the far-away hope of making money, and she has not become convinced (as I have) that there are other reasons for working, that a person like herself who cannot write a sentence that is not delightful and a circus, should give some time to it instead of always doily-carrying, recipe-experimenting, child-admonishing, husband-ministering, to the complete neglect of her Imagination and creative power.
In fact that is why the loves of most women are so vaguely unsatisfactory. They are always doing secondary and menial things (that do not require all their gifts and ability ) for others and never anything for themselves. Society and husbands praise them for it (when they get to miserable of have nervous breakdowns), though always a little perplexedly and halfheartedly and just to be consoling. The poor wives are reminded that that is just why women are so splendid–because they are so unselfish and self-sacrificing and that is the wonderful thing about them!
But inwardly women know that something is wrong. They sense if you are always doing something for others, like a servant or nurse, and never anything for yourself, you cannot do others any good. You make them physically more comfortable. But you cannot affect them spiritually in any way at all. For to teach, encourage, cheer up, console, amuse, stimulate, or advise a husband or children or friends, you have to be something yourself. And how to be something yourself? Only by working hard and with gumption at something you love and care for and think is important.
So if you want your children to be musicians, then work at music yourself, seriously and with all your intelligence. If you want them to be scholars, study hard yourself. If you want them to be honest, be honest yourself. And so it goes.”