The Ordinary Work of Love

Sometimes a railing is love.

Love is often portrayed in grand gestures, but much of love looks like errands, appointments, grocery shopping, cooking, phone calls, paperwork, driving, and waiting rooms. It looks like taking notes during doctor’s visits, holding a hand, giving a hug, and listening with patience. Sometimes one of the greatest expressions of love is simply showing up and being present.

Some days love feels effortless. Other days it feels like one more thing squeezed into an already full calendar. Yet what is true in my life, and I suspect true for many others, is that ordinary acts become some of the clearest expressions of love we have.

Love looks like the railing my spouse spent hours installing on our front porch on Sunday. It meant renting a tool that could drill into old brick in order to secure the bolts. It meant watching videos, troubleshooting problems, managing frustration, and asking one of our daughters for assistance.

Love was the “why” behind installing the railing. We have family and friends we’ve noticed walking a little more carefully down the few steps leading from our porch. The railing was an act of care, a way to help them feel safer and more secure.

The same day the installation was underway, my spouse had also planned to make dinner. When I returned from grocery shopping, I could see the project was taking longer than expected and that they had been navigating challenges. So I started dinner. I could almost see the stress lift when I let them know food was underway. It gave them time to return the rented tool before incurring an additional expense.

This is love in action.

Much of life can feel like it is spent balancing competing responsibilities. Work. Family. Friends. Health. The things we hope to accomplish. There never seems to be enough time for all of it.

Many people are quietly carrying these same responsibilities. Caring for aging parents. Supporting children or grandchildren. Showing up for spouses, friends, neighbors, and communities. Trying to preserve their own energy while also being present for the people they love.

And sometimes there is guilt. The feeling that we should do more. Call more. Visit more. Give more.

Yet love doesn’t need to be measured in grand gestures. It is reflected in all the ordinary ways we continue to show up.