What Happens Next

When things don’t go according to plan.

Our weekend had gone remarkably well. We had watched the Detroit Tigers win two games against the A’s in Sacramento. The McGonigoggles had survived their inaugural field testing. Kevin McGonigle had even hit a home run during his first at bat while we were wearing them.

And then, on the drive home Sunday evening, our car began losing power on Interstate 5.

Well, shit.

That certainly wasn’t how we expected our weekend to end.

We had to pull off the side of the freeway and began figuring out what to do next. There were phone calls, roadside assistance, changing plans and waiting. It was also extraordinarily hot (106 degrees), which added another layer of concern to sitting alongside the freeway with a car that wasn’t going anywhere.

While we waited, there was a frontage road running parallel to I-5. At one point a woman pulled over and asked if we needed water or snacks. From the direction she approached, it appeared she had circled back simply to check on us. We were okay and didn’t need anything, but I was touched that a stranger had noticed people stranded beside the freeway and decided to make sure we were all right.

There are a lot of good people in the world.

Eventually our tow truck arrived, and the four of us climbed into the cab for the ride to Chico. Again we were relieved that the cab had enough space for a family of four and had air conditioning.

Somewhere along the way, sitting together in the back, I pointed out to our daughters that as inconvenient as the situation was, they were also getting a useful life lesson. Neither of them had ever dealt with a car breaking down away from home. Now they were seeing what that actually looks like. How do you get yourself somewhere safe? Who do you call? What happens when the first plan doesn’t work? How do you arrange a tow? What do you do when suddenly the way you thought you were getting home is no longer an option?

I want to be careful about what I mean by finding a lesson in the experience.

I don’t believe the car broke down for a reason.

In fact, “everything happens for a reason” is one of those phrases I’ve never been able to embrace. I know it can bring comfort to some people, but there are things that happen in this world—terrible, heartbreaking things—that I cannot imagine trying to explain as necessary pieces of some larger plan. Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes, quite frankly, shit happens.

What I do believe is that once something has happened, we have choices about what we do next. We can look for what might be learned. We can accept help. We can find humor where humor is available. We can notice kindness. Sometimes we can even discover something unexpectedly good in the middle of circumstances we certainly wouldn’t have chosen.

Our tow truck driver, Adolpho, turned out to be one of those unexpected good things.

What could have been a long and uncomfortable ride to Chico instead became a fascinating conversation. Adolpho was originally from Mexico and now lives in Colusa with his wife and family. He told us about his children, including one son attending Chico State on a full scholarship who plans to become a psychologist and hopes to work helping rehabilitate people in prison. Another recently graduated from high school and wants to become an underwater welder.

Adolpho also shared his own passion for geology and collecting rocks and minerals. His collection has become substantial enough that he has shelves and special lighting in his man cave to organize and display his finds. The more we talked, the more apparent it became that this was a remarkably bright and curious human being.

When he proudly told me about his son’s academic accomplishments, I commented that it was pretty clear his son had smart parents. Adolpho immediately tried to give all the credit to his wife.

I wasn’t buying it. 😊

When we reached Chico, Adolpho dropped one of our daughters and I at my parents’ house so we could pick up their car before he continued on to the Hyundai dealership. We quickly emptied enough things from their trunk to make room for what we needed and headed over to meet everyone.

Having my parents nearby and willing to loan us their car was another thing for which I felt enormously grateful. A car breakdown is inconvenient under any circumstances, but having family who can say, “Take ours,” changes the problem considerably. Sometimes handling the unexpected also means recognizing that we don’t have to handle everything alone.

At the dealership, we watched Adolpho carefully maneuver our completely dead car off the tow truck. It took considerable finesse to unload it without damaging anything. We left the keys in the dealership drop box with a note, and eventually headed home.

It was after midnight by the time we got there.

None of this means I believe our car broke down so our daughters could learn how to handle a roadside emergency. It didn’t happen so a stranger could demonstrate kindness. It didn’t happen so we could meet an interesting tow truck driver named Adolpho.

The car broke down.

What happened next was created by people.

A woman chose to circle back and check whether we needed water. Adolpho turned a long tow into an enjoyable conversation and went out of his way to help with our logistics. My parents loaned us their car. Our family adjusted plans and figured out how to get everyone where they needed to go.

And our daughters got to see that an unexpected problem doesn’t necessarily have to become a catastrophe. You assess the situation. You ask for help. You change plans. You deal with one thing at a time.

The following morning brought another small decision. My spouse needed to return to Chico to return my parents car and check on their car. Our daughters were already heading that direction, including Aubrey, who had a job interview that afternoon. They could give their dad a ride home if the Hyundai needed to remain at the dealership.

I briefly felt guilty about not going with them.

I had already planned to spend half the day kayaking with our friend Don. After the long night before, part of me wondered whether I should cancel and go back to Chico too. But everything that needed to be handled was covered. I was encouraged to stick with my plans.

So I did.

And after an evening spent beside a freeway and in the cab of a tow truck, I found myself the next day out on the water.

Perhaps that was another small lesson. Responding to something difficult doesn’t necessarily require surrendering everything else to it. Once the immediate problem is managed, sometimes it’s okay to return to the things that restore us.

I still would have preferred that our car simply brought us home Sunday night. I certainly wouldn’t have chosen the breakdown.

But it happened.

We called for help. We changed our plans. We accepted kindness. Our daughters learned a little more about handling one of life’s inevitable complications. We met Adolpho. We borrowed a car. Eventually we made it home.

And the next day, I went kayaking.