Good Riddance to Disappointment

I wrote a poem called Good Riddance to Disappointment just a few days ago as part of the current Cosmic Cowgirl on-line course I am following for 30 days called A Year of Promise. One option of the Day Three exercise was to share something you would no longer tolerate. During the course of my life I often felt like a disappointment to certain people in my life whenever I was overweight. I shared that I will no longer tolerate thinking that I am a disappointment to another human being. Just yesterday I was exercising after work at the park. On my walk I passed a beat up pick-up with three young men sitting inside. From behind I heard a whistle and then “Ooh baby, I love your ass!” and then laughter. There was no one else around so I knew the comment was directed at me and I also knew that it wasn’t sincere but rather meant to poke fun at me. I had a wonderful aha moment though because the whole scene made me smile. I really didn’t care what those young guys thought of me. Their opinions meant absolutely nothing. It really struck me on a deeper level ~ Why would I care what they thought of me? It is what I think that matters!

Good Riddance to Disappointment

I was told that my thighs
were too pudgy
my middle too round
from now on
only 30 carbs a day

I wanted
I wanted
to please
I wanted
to be loved

Appetite suppressants
like caramel candy
would ease the hunger
and help me get
through the day

No bread or crackers
no milk or pasta
or even too much fruit
all this effort in order
to melt the fat away

I wanted
I wanted
to please
I wanted
to be loved

I didn’t question
the methods
there was no mention
of health
all I did was obey

I feared
I would disappoint
if I was not thin
I was learning
fat was not okay

I want
I want
to please
I want
to be loved
these are the things
for which my little
4-year-old self
would pray

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