Good Riddance to Disappointment

Standard

I wrote a poem called Good Riddance to Disappointment just a few days ago as part of the current Cosmic Cowgirl on-line course I am following for 30 days called A Year of Promise. One option of the Day Three exercise was to share something you would no longer tolerate. During the course of my life I often felt like a disappointment to certain people in my life whenever I was overweight. I shared that I will no longer tolerate thinking that I am a disappointment to another human being. Just yesterday I was exercising after work at the park. On my walk I passed a beat up pick-up with three young men sitting inside. From behind I heard a whistle and then “Ooh baby, I love your ass!” and then laughter. There was no one else around so I knew the comment was directed at me and I also knew that it wasn’t sincere but rather meant to poke fun at me. I had a wonderful aha moment though because the whole scene made me smile. I really didn’t care what those young guys thought of me. Their opinions meant absolutely nothing. It really struck me on a deeper level ~ Why would I care what they thought of me? It is what I think that matters!

Good Riddance to Disappointment

I was told that my thighs
were too pudgy
my middle too round
from now on
only 30 carbs a day

I wanted
approval
I wanted
to please
I wanted
to be loved

Appetite suppressants
like caramel candy
would ease the hunger
and help me get
through the day

No bread or crackers
no milk or pasta
or even too much fruit
all this effort in order
to melt the fat away

I wanted
approval
I wanted
to please
I wanted
to be loved

I didn’t question
the methods
there was no mention
of health
all I did was obey

I feared
I would disappoint
if I was not thin
I was learning
fat was not okay

I want
approval
I want
to please
I want
to be loved
these are the things
for which my little
4-year-old self
would pray

About Michelle Fairchild

Michelle Fairchild is a writer and artist who at heart is a soulful and sensitive intuitive, a courageous creator, a resilient visionary, a self-esteem fluffer, a marvelous music mixer and one who offers up bridges of connections to her fellow travelers. She believes We Are All Meant to Shine! You can read more of her writing at her web site: We Are All Meant to Shine. (https://weareallmeanttoshine.com/) She is happily married to a middle school science teacher and is the adoring mama to identical twin daughters, who are very active 7-year-olds who keep her dancing. She has a small creative business called Red Boa Productions and also works for a non-profit foster-adoption agency in Northern California.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s